I can't shut off the thinking. I had a little mental temper tantrum earlier and the usual failed cycle pissiness tonight. I tried to go to bed at 9 with my husband but sleep did not happen. So, after "homework" and resting a while, and thinking outloud while he tried so hard to stay awake and listen (kept drifting off, snore and would say "I'm awake!" when I pointed out he fell asleep...) I decided it was time to come back downstairs for me time. I've looked at my journal about 20 thousand times tonight trying to figure out when it might have happened since it's probably over already. It was clear that there wasn't a follicle there anymore. It's too late to remember what he called it but I'm sure most of you already know the term. I'll just call it the crater.
At this point, I just want the next week to go fast. If I'm out this month for sure, fine, just bring it on so I can get past this. I hate the wait!! While waiting though, I need to figure out a new plan of action for the next round. I tried opks, they suck. But I might try them again now that all this is so weird this time. Other than that, I'm doing just the prenatals. Anything else I can take to up my chance? I'm even debating...gasp....temp charting again. I can't believe I just said it. Those of you who have followed this journey from way back will know how much I hate temping. Plus I don't sleep 3 hrs straight ever. I don't know how it could possibly work.
I think it's time for bed. Hopefully I can somehow make the next week and half go really fast.
I wouldn't bother temp charting. I'm convinced they are more trouble than they are worth.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it sounds like the study is not cutting it for you. It sounds like you would do better if you had mid cycle monitoring and maybe trigger shots. I think the study is great that you get a bunch of chances that aren't costing you anything, but if you don't get pregnant by the end, I would say it might be because you didn't get all the advantages of monitored cycles... or you just haven't beaten the odds yet.
And you've also had some disadvantages... surgery, illness, infection... all that may have handicapped you to a certain degree unfortunately.
I took baby aspirin this cycle and I can't help but wonder if that didn't make a little bit of a difference. "Can't hurt" (And I didn't touch a BBT thermometer or an OPK which I think was good for me mentally.)