On Wednesday, I had the big school meeting. Shortly after school had started, Kristopher started getting whiney and upset about having to go. I'd say it was probably 2 weeks into it. Last year he was a total opposite of this, so it was concerning to us. I started by emailing the teacher, and got told that he is very happy to be there when he is there. He is friendly with everyone, and participates well. She was very confused by my concerns because he was different there.
Around that 3rd week, I realized he was upset with his homework, which was a lot of the same from last year when he was in the advanced reading program. I had commented to his guidance councilor of his behavior issues, brought it up in therapy, and again to his teacher. We decided it was time to test him for the Gifted Program, and go from there. Testing took place very quickly, and then the forever long wait for the results and plan.
So back to Wednesday. Because of babysitting again, it was hard to squeeze the appt in that we could both be there. It was at an awkward time, and I had to take it alone. It started with "Kristopher is a very smart and intelligent child, and a joy to work with, BUT....."
I think I stopped breathing for a minute.
Turns out, he has some issues with this teacher. He had her for that reading program last year, and is very comfortable with her. He challenges her daily. If he doesn't want to do something, he tells her flat out "I'm not doing that." When she challenges back and reminds him the rules and what happens if he doesn't, he immediately changes his mind, does it in a rush and with attitude, but avoids that behavior chart negative impact. They also mentioned that he is clingy with the adults. If he needs help on something or questions something, he will not ask a peer. I asked him why and he says because if I don't know the answer, they are not going to either. I told him that everyone learns on different levels and while he does know a lot for his age, some people may not know how to read as fast his him, or spell as much, but I bet they have very good opinions and know other areas well. He thought on that, and said he will try to talk to people more.
They also say that his fine motor skills are horrible. Very behind apparently. It was brought up in Kindergarten, and the reason they were not able to push him forward last year. In Kindergarten, they determined that he holds pencils wrong, but if forced to hold it the right way, his writing becomes hard to read. His way, he can write very neatly if he is given the chance. So, they said it was his style, and let him go last year. This year, it's pointed out and corrected every time it's caught. "Kristopher hold the pencil this way to write the right way" Fixes the pencil and makes him try more. He gets frustrated and says he doesn't want to write then. "I don't care if you WANT to, you HAVE to do it this way." So, he's being told that on a very regular basis at school. In return, it's getting him to the point of not wanting to try because it embarrasses him that it's outted in front of his peers. Same with cutting.
Here at home, I've noticed that he holds crayons properly, and we've tried the tiny pencils or pencil grippers to get him to hold those properly, and he doesn't like either. He plays with legos and playdoh, and does a lot of hand stuff that should be working those fine motor skills. What it boils down to that they are picking at is still that pencil hold and scissor hold. It's frustrating to me, based on what we were told last year.
They also said he's clumsy and runs differently, and that gross motor skills are not up to speed. Called and brought up with his doctor and was told he is right on track for his age, and that if he runs different, it's probably because his legs are so long. The kid has inherited our very long legs. His regular doctor and his therapist are thinking that the school is just picking at every flaw they can think of, just because they've been given the forms and opportunity to do so.
And about his testing. His IQ is really advanced for his age and grade level. Most of the assessment put him at a mid to late 2nd grade level, but the #'s are not high enough to allow him to have the gifted help. It was like 11 away. And because he is so smart, he does not qualify for the OT at school. They looked at him and said he clearly needs the OT, but can't provide it because he's not behind everywhere else. So I'm trying to find someone good around here for me to do on our own. Screw them. I think the system sucks on how you either have to be low income or very low IQ to qualify for the help. Here's a kid that is now starting to hate school because of a few issues that can be fixed if the chance is there, and they are telling us "sorry, we can't help."
Finally, they also tell us that his reading is not normal. He can read anything. Way way way above his grade level. But, he doesn't read it by sounding it out. He is the type of person who reads or sees a word, and has it memorized. So, now that he's into big advanced chapter books, if he comes across bigger words that he's not seen before, he will skip them. And keep reading like they were not there. Then, the comprehension part of that activity is ruined because he missed key words. They claim it's not a bad thing because he is at such a high level, but I see the upset behavior and stress here at home when we have to do reading homework that is "so boring" and "super easy".
All in all, it was a horrible meeting and nothing that I had been expecting. I am doing a lot more work than I should have to, to help him along and make this easier for him. I'm not complaining, because I'll do anything I can to keep his love of his education there, but it should not be pinned on me because he doesn't qualify. We're going to work with his therapist, have a little more testing done based on these results, get him to an OT appt for a screening and some tips on how to work at home on this. I have also given him a new chance to have fun and work at the same time. For every minute of GOOD, non whining writing time he gives me, or drawing, he can have a minute of DS time. He loves his DS, so he was super excited about that. I said no more than a half hour at a time, and he is not going to be doing it repeatedly just to spend more time on that. It seems to work well so far, and he's excited about writing and drawing again.
I'm sure there is so much more that I'd like to document for my own records, but I forget at this point. And I've probably bored you all with this giant complaint. So for now, I'm done.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Having an only child
I saw this on Kelly's blog and for once there is a subject that I feel comfortable linking up and sharing my story.
Those who read this blog, know that it's a lot about my struggles with infertility. Because of that, Kristopher is an only child, and there is a very good chance, he will remain that way. It's out of our control, and I believe that things happen for a reason, so I am finally starting to accept that.
For those that have came here from Kelly's blog link list, feel free to check the tabs at the top if you're interested in more info about our family.
Our plan was to have 3 kids. I went off the pill a month before we got married, and everything became so irregular and eventually stopped. We waited that full year like I was told it could take, then we went for extra help. It took us almost 3 years to have Kristopher.
Kristopher turned 7 in September. Every person we know, has at least 2 or more kids. He is the only person he knows and talks to, that is an only child. Sometimes he gets upset about that, and will express his wish for a sibling. I do babysit, so we have 3 other kids around on a regular basis, and he would keep them here as family forever if he was able. He loves to have other kids to play with and do stuff with that parents are not cool enough to do. I know if we were to tell him he was going to have a brother or a sister, he would be beyond excited.
What I do like about having only one child, is my attention is not pulled in a lot of different directions. I can focus my attention on him when he needs it the most. Right now he's struggling a little with school, and I am willing and able to fight to make his education the best he can get. If I'd have other children to tend to, it would be a lot harder to make his appts and meetings happen.
I am also lucky enough to be a stay at home mom. It's not an easy job, but I feel that I've done the best for him by being here. He's the type of kid who needs to know what to expect, and me being around anytime he needs, has reassured him that I'm always here for him. I hope that continues as he gets older.
Having an only child was not something we expected. We both have siblings, so we weren't sure how to do this. We must be doing pretty good because he knows our family is special in it's own way, and he does love to spend time with us. He doesn't talk that much anymore about why he can't have a brother or sister, he just goes with it. We do a lot and keep him active and busy, and I don't think we'd be able to go as much as we do, if we had more kids as we had planned.
That being said, I'm still in the process of another round of clomid, and have one remaining after that. From that point though, I no longer feel comfortable paying for higher treatment options with no promises. Someday, we may adopt if the final rounds don't help. Or we may not. Who knows what our future will hold. For now, we're a happy little family of 3, and we will continue to make our child have the best childhood we are able.
Those who read this blog, know that it's a lot about my struggles with infertility. Because of that, Kristopher is an only child, and there is a very good chance, he will remain that way. It's out of our control, and I believe that things happen for a reason, so I am finally starting to accept that.
For those that have came here from Kelly's blog link list, feel free to check the tabs at the top if you're interested in more info about our family.
Our plan was to have 3 kids. I went off the pill a month before we got married, and everything became so irregular and eventually stopped. We waited that full year like I was told it could take, then we went for extra help. It took us almost 3 years to have Kristopher.
Kristopher turned 7 in September. Every person we know, has at least 2 or more kids. He is the only person he knows and talks to, that is an only child. Sometimes he gets upset about that, and will express his wish for a sibling. I do babysit, so we have 3 other kids around on a regular basis, and he would keep them here as family forever if he was able. He loves to have other kids to play with and do stuff with that parents are not cool enough to do. I know if we were to tell him he was going to have a brother or a sister, he would be beyond excited.
What I do like about having only one child, is my attention is not pulled in a lot of different directions. I can focus my attention on him when he needs it the most. Right now he's struggling a little with school, and I am willing and able to fight to make his education the best he can get. If I'd have other children to tend to, it would be a lot harder to make his appts and meetings happen.
I am also lucky enough to be a stay at home mom. It's not an easy job, but I feel that I've done the best for him by being here. He's the type of kid who needs to know what to expect, and me being around anytime he needs, has reassured him that I'm always here for him. I hope that continues as he gets older.
Having an only child was not something we expected. We both have siblings, so we weren't sure how to do this. We must be doing pretty good because he knows our family is special in it's own way, and he does love to spend time with us. He doesn't talk that much anymore about why he can't have a brother or sister, he just goes with it. We do a lot and keep him active and busy, and I don't think we'd be able to go as much as we do, if we had more kids as we had planned.
That being said, I'm still in the process of another round of clomid, and have one remaining after that. From that point though, I no longer feel comfortable paying for higher treatment options with no promises. Someday, we may adopt if the final rounds don't help. Or we may not. Who knows what our future will hold. For now, we're a happy little family of 3, and we will continue to make our child have the best childhood we are able.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Weekend review
Thursday Kristopher had his first ever real field trip. They went to see a ballet, some museum stuff, and the capital building. It was the first day all year that he acted excited about being able to go to school, and came home talking like crazy about his awesome day. I miss that spark from Kindergarten.
He's having a lot of emotional issues lately, and I think a lot is still with the loss of Zoey. I'm the same way. However, he had a giant meltdown on Wednesday about going to school. There was a special breakfast thing with parents, and we both went with him. When it was about time to part ways, the tears started. That was a first. Last year, he pushed us out the door and couldn't get away from us quick enough. It took us about 20 mins to be able to leave him, and we walked away while he was standing in line for class, still in tears. He was fine in less than 15 mins, so I guess that's a plus. And the rest of the week has been ok.
His therapist thinks he is picking up on a lot of my stress and anxiety, causing his to spike all crazy right now. His only reason for not wanting to be at school lately, is because he misses me "so much". But yet at home, he's got attitude and anger issues with me. Such drama I swear! So, I have to learn to hide my stress a little bit better. And I will admit, since late August, things have been pretty stressful around here. Add loss of Zoey and my trying to cope without the whole world thinking I'm mental, is not easy.
Speaking of Zoey, tomorrow it will be a month already. It feels like she's been gone so much longer. I miss everything about her. I still can not believe this is how things ended up. I really thought we'd have at least another year or 2. I just wish I knew exactly what caused the problems, and what made it turn from just a normal bout of her issues, to this. What I wouldn't give this week to have her here, and to be able to just squeeze her and have her take all the problems away. She was the perfect person for bad days. Not many people understand that.
Roxie's doing pretty good. She's close to doubled in size. Getting a fat little belly. Doing pretty good with the house training finally. I love her like crazy, but she also can stress me out with her chewing, and accidents, and just not Zoey. I was never trying to replace her, and I love this puppy like crazy too, but, I got use to the old lazy dog phase, and I miss it. Roxie can go from all cute and cuddling to forgetting what we are doing and pouncing the face and biting a nose. It's cute but so frustrating. She is getting a lot better though, and knows what OUCH and NO BITE means. Instantly sorry if she hears either of those phrases.
The kids came back this week. I'm feeling more and more like babysitting is too hard of work. 2 were ok, after we found our balance. 6 weeks away has totally crushed everything we had going our way. We have a lot of attitude from the 3 yr old, and horrible bossiness. Almost 2 yr old is going through mommy seperation, and also forgot all rules and nice behavior. And the baby.....baby is colic. He has a crying/screaming fit that lasts at least 2-3 hours at least once per day. She took him to the dr on Wednesday because I thought his belly button looked a little funny, and turns out he has a slight hernia. Nothing major and they say it's not causing pain and will heal itself. And that the crying fits are just colic, and gave some tips to try to help that. We're dealing but I never imagined it to be this hard. He seriously makes me question if I can handle the baby stage 100% of the time, again. I would like to think if I had another, it would be different, and more like Kristopher was as a baby, but who knows. Any baby can have colic issues. And knowing my luck, my next will.
I'm also a little worried about what all this new kid related stress will do to this upcoming cycle. I'm suppose to start round 3 of clomid tomorrow. And then try like crazy to relax and keep my life a little less stressed. I hope it's possible.
And last thing I wanted to keep track of for my records is that Kristopher has his first cold of the school year, and within 2 days, it settled in his chest. When he coughs, he says it hurts, and was pointing near where he said last year with the bouts of pneumonia. I called the doctor right away, and they said to try the inhaler again since he has no other symptoms, no fever, no behavior changes, etc. So we picked up a new one last night, and the coughing has gotten better already. I don't think he coughed at all last night. I guess for now, when he gets the colds, we'll just have the inhaler for treatments as needed.
Now, to end with a cute picture of Roxie. I swear keeshonds must have the most smiley personality. Zoey did this really young too, and Roxie has started this week. It's super cute! She just lays there smiling away, even though she looks like she's about ready to bite and pounce. I also think she believes she's a cat. She does this hilarious crab walk, and will sneak up on stuff and pouncing it just like a cat on a prowl. Definitely a really strange, but hilarious pup.
He's having a lot of emotional issues lately, and I think a lot is still with the loss of Zoey. I'm the same way. However, he had a giant meltdown on Wednesday about going to school. There was a special breakfast thing with parents, and we both went with him. When it was about time to part ways, the tears started. That was a first. Last year, he pushed us out the door and couldn't get away from us quick enough. It took us about 20 mins to be able to leave him, and we walked away while he was standing in line for class, still in tears. He was fine in less than 15 mins, so I guess that's a plus. And the rest of the week has been ok.
His therapist thinks he is picking up on a lot of my stress and anxiety, causing his to spike all crazy right now. His only reason for not wanting to be at school lately, is because he misses me "so much". But yet at home, he's got attitude and anger issues with me. Such drama I swear! So, I have to learn to hide my stress a little bit better. And I will admit, since late August, things have been pretty stressful around here. Add loss of Zoey and my trying to cope without the whole world thinking I'm mental, is not easy.
Speaking of Zoey, tomorrow it will be a month already. It feels like she's been gone so much longer. I miss everything about her. I still can not believe this is how things ended up. I really thought we'd have at least another year or 2. I just wish I knew exactly what caused the problems, and what made it turn from just a normal bout of her issues, to this. What I wouldn't give this week to have her here, and to be able to just squeeze her and have her take all the problems away. She was the perfect person for bad days. Not many people understand that.
Roxie's doing pretty good. She's close to doubled in size. Getting a fat little belly. Doing pretty good with the house training finally. I love her like crazy, but she also can stress me out with her chewing, and accidents, and just not Zoey. I was never trying to replace her, and I love this puppy like crazy too, but, I got use to the old lazy dog phase, and I miss it. Roxie can go from all cute and cuddling to forgetting what we are doing and pouncing the face and biting a nose. It's cute but so frustrating. She is getting a lot better though, and knows what OUCH and NO BITE means. Instantly sorry if she hears either of those phrases.
The kids came back this week. I'm feeling more and more like babysitting is too hard of work. 2 were ok, after we found our balance. 6 weeks away has totally crushed everything we had going our way. We have a lot of attitude from the 3 yr old, and horrible bossiness. Almost 2 yr old is going through mommy seperation, and also forgot all rules and nice behavior. And the baby.....baby is colic. He has a crying/screaming fit that lasts at least 2-3 hours at least once per day. She took him to the dr on Wednesday because I thought his belly button looked a little funny, and turns out he has a slight hernia. Nothing major and they say it's not causing pain and will heal itself. And that the crying fits are just colic, and gave some tips to try to help that. We're dealing but I never imagined it to be this hard. He seriously makes me question if I can handle the baby stage 100% of the time, again. I would like to think if I had another, it would be different, and more like Kristopher was as a baby, but who knows. Any baby can have colic issues. And knowing my luck, my next will.
I'm also a little worried about what all this new kid related stress will do to this upcoming cycle. I'm suppose to start round 3 of clomid tomorrow. And then try like crazy to relax and keep my life a little less stressed. I hope it's possible.
And last thing I wanted to keep track of for my records is that Kristopher has his first cold of the school year, and within 2 days, it settled in his chest. When he coughs, he says it hurts, and was pointing near where he said last year with the bouts of pneumonia. I called the doctor right away, and they said to try the inhaler again since he has no other symptoms, no fever, no behavior changes, etc. So we picked up a new one last night, and the coughing has gotten better already. I don't think he coughed at all last night. I guess for now, when he gets the colds, we'll just have the inhaler for treatments as needed.
Now, to end with a cute picture of Roxie. I swear keeshonds must have the most smiley personality. Zoey did this really young too, and Roxie has started this week. It's super cute! She just lays there smiling away, even though she looks like she's about ready to bite and pounce. I also think she believes she's a cat. She does this hilarious crab walk, and will sneak up on stuff and pouncing it just like a cat on a prowl. Definitely a really strange, but hilarious pup.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Day 1
It showed in the middle of the night. Really horrible cramping and bleeding. I guess this is what a real period is suppose to be though. Plan is if we continue, stay on 100mgs, days 5-9. Back on day 21 for bloodwork and u/s and more wait. I'm not sure my plans yet.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Spotting
Didn't work this time. I have started spotting. Very disappointing. I was so sure that it happened on the 30th when I felt that all day pain. So now I'm confused. 2 more chances. That's all I have left, and all I'll willing to put up with. This is too frustrating.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Going crazy here
I lack patience in a lot of areas. This wait to test is one of them. Yesterday marks 2 weeks since the stabbing pains and probably ovulation. They don't want me to test till Oct 25th. That is over a week and half away. I don't know how I can do it, but I have absolutely no sign of starting anytime soon. I need some major distractions for this next week. Luckily, I'm so scared of seeing a negative test, that I'm not caving just yet. I need more time to feel like it's a good time to do it and that I stand a very good chance. In the meantime, I'll go crazy.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Appt update!!
It's definitely true! I ovulated!! I am convinced it was on Sept 30th (the day I had very intense left ovary stabbing), and then the 1st was a dull ache. I told them that before the u/s, and they checked righty first. No signs of ovulation there. But, lining was looking really awesome, and definitely that of post ovulation. So then we get to the left side and he said I was definitely right about my predictions there. It was way bigger than the right, my little pcos cysts were down to a small # around 5 or 6 instead of 30-40s. And, there was 2 or 3 decent size holes that could have been either developing or post ovulation. It was hard to make out which it came from. But, the best part is, the progesterone level is 22.6!
The nurse calls me with details and says, due to the high number, wait 2 weeks and if no period, do a test on Oct 25th, first thing in the morning. No need to do it sooner, because after ovulation it takes about 2 weeks. I know this did not just happen, and that number is too high to have been just a few days ago. My normal level has never been higher than 0.4, so this is huge. I know when I felt the pain, and when I did not, and I feel like this may be a good sign. I don't want to get myself too hopeful, and it was a pretty stressful cycle, so maybe I was off, maybe I was not. I just know that I'm not as stupid as some people, and know that for sure on the 30th, it was INTENSE pain.
So now I wait, very impatiently. I'm terrified because of all the things I know about that can go wrong, but also going to be highly upset if this ends in a period.
Any thoughts on this? If I was right on my ovulation date, and I'd be 10-12 dpo, wouldn't that number be a lot lower because it would be on the drop for a period? Need some insight here. Comment or email experiences please!!
The nurse calls me with details and says, due to the high number, wait 2 weeks and if no period, do a test on Oct 25th, first thing in the morning. No need to do it sooner, because after ovulation it takes about 2 weeks. I know this did not just happen, and that number is too high to have been just a few days ago. My normal level has never been higher than 0.4, so this is huge. I know when I felt the pain, and when I did not, and I feel like this may be a good sign. I don't want to get myself too hopeful, and it was a pretty stressful cycle, so maybe I was off, maybe I was not. I just know that I'm not as stupid as some people, and know that for sure on the 30th, it was INTENSE pain.
So now I wait, very impatiently. I'm terrified because of all the things I know about that can go wrong, but also going to be highly upset if this ends in a period.
Any thoughts on this? If I was right on my ovulation date, and I'd be 10-12 dpo, wouldn't that number be a lot lower because it would be on the drop for a period? Need some insight here. Comment or email experiences please!!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Meet the new baby!
Crate training is going well, house training is half and half. I try to get her out as frequently as I can, but she drinks so much for being so little. She does respond to "no" so when I catch her wondering off and starting to squat, I say no and she can hold it till I get her out. The only accidents we have had, are tiny ones. Easy to clean up. I hope I can get her on a real nice balance of this by the 17th. That's when the kids come back.
While I love this little furball like crazy, I still miss my Zoey so much. It's a great distraction, but I'd give anything to have my old lazy girl back. She was so easy, when she wasn't sick. I know we will get to the same point with Roxie in a few months, but for now, she's definitely keeping me active and alert.
Kristopher is excited, but also kind of upset at the same time. She's extremely attached to me, but shy with everyone else. So, he hasn't got to do half of what he had thought would happen with having a puppy. I told him that I'm sure they will become best friends in no time, and she just needs to get use to him. Once she knows he's friendly and fun, they will be best friends. I know he's mixed because the only way this was possible at this time was because of what happened with Zoey. Had she still been here, I'd never have pushed so hard to get a puppy right now. But, she's here, and so loved already.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
For documentation purposes
I'm pretty sure I ovulated yesterday. I had some horrible ovary pains for about 12 hours, maybe longer. Left side. We did our homework, even though it hurt like crazy in there. I swear if nothing was going on, then I need a reproductive transplant. Wouldn't that be nice if that was possible? ha.
But anyway, bases are covered, and now I wait. Pain is gone today so we will see....At least the next 2 weeks are going to be really busy because....We get the puppy tomorrow!!!!!! And 2 weeks from Monday, the kids come back full time. Yikes. I know I'm going to be asking myself what I've done when they are back, and then if this works.....yikes. I welcome it all though. It better work. That's all I have for today.
But anyway, bases are covered, and now I wait. Pain is gone today so we will see....At least the next 2 weeks are going to be really busy because....We get the puppy tomorrow!!!!!! And 2 weeks from Monday, the kids come back full time. Yikes. I know I'm going to be asking myself what I've done when they are back, and then if this works.....yikes. I welcome it all though. It better work. That's all I have for today.
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