Another experience

We get to chalk our placement up to just another experience.  The kids were removed yesterday and placed in a new, longer term home.  A big concern for them being here was they were not able to share a room since the oldest was about to turn 5, and they were not all the same sex.  The initial plan when we got the call, was to place the boy in with Kristopher.  We thought since he's done so well with the ones I babysit, that it would go ok.  He's always been great with bonding with the younger kids, and loved to teach and help them learn.  However, this 4 yr old and Kristopher had constant battles.  The 4 yr old has never been around older kids ( he and his sisters came from a home with 3 sets of couples, and 7 total children in one home, he and his sisters being the oldest.  That means 4 of the other children in the home were under 2 yrs old.)  So anyway, it was a battle from the first day here.  He would constantly terrorize Kristopher and boss him around.  We would try individual play time, and he would end up smashing whatever Kristopher had set up for him.  Tried them in K's room, and it ended in K screaming to stop something within 2 minutes.  I explained that it was just not possible for them to share a room since the kid had no boundaries or respect for other people's personal space.
At that point, we committed to 30 days, and they had to find another placement by that point.  They approved the kids to be ok to share a room since it was only a month.  The next night, we had proof that they had sexual exposure, and it was then said that they absolutely were not allowed to share a room.  We had to move the boy to the living room, and use baby gates and monitors at night to make sure there was no way they could get in each other's areas at night when we were not there to watch every move.  I was asked again to try putting him in Kristopher's room.
Last Friday they separated the girls from the boy.  The girls went with a respite family for the weekend, and I kept the boy here.  We thought maybe one on one time would help the boys bond, but it was not successful.  And it was clear that the kids could not be separated because the boy got very depressed.
So yesterday we were told that they could not go back to their parents, and that the search would start for a new family.  I was advised to be prepared that they will probably be here for the full 30 days, and to just keep the boy either in the living room to sleep, or my room.  Then, I got a call asking me to be at the county office in an hour with all their stuff.  They found a new family, and they could remain together.  It was a whole new crazy experience with all that because I had to meet with the new family, the respite family had to have a turn as well, and I had to supervise a visit with each parent while we waited.  Then we introduced the new family, played a little and it was time to make the switch.  It was easier on the kids than I thought it would be, but they were more happy to know that they were together again.  They missed each other and enjoyed being back together.  They were told of some fun toys that they were looking forward to going to play with, so that was another plus for them. 
What really bothers me about this whole experience is the negativity about our sleeping arrangements, and the lack of trust in me that I could still keep them safe at night sharing a room by having monitors.  But yet they go to a family that put the youngest in a car seat that was expired.  They put the 4 yr old boy (who was only 31 lbs) into a backless booster with no cover or anything.  Plain plastic seat.  And then the 5 yr old (who is only 30lbs and 40 inches) was put into a regular seat in the car, with only a lap belt.  Our state law is 8 yrs to remain a booster, and it's recommended up to 4'9 or sitting in proper guidelines.  I just moved Kristopher that way because of his height and a booster actually positioned his seat belt in a way that it would not protect him as good as just sitting on the seat like we do.  And he's 4'7.  But anyway, I love how I was a risk, but it's ok to travel over an hour away in that type of set up.  The child welfare system sucks around here, and it's got me really disturbed today. 
I miss them, and the craziness that they brought.  But I'm glad they will remain together, and will be able to get all the services they are going to need.  And best of all, they are away from this town where we had a risk of running into parents or grandparents every time we went out.  We will chalk it up to another learning experience, and remember the good times they were with us.  As hard as it was to watch them leave, I still know without a doubt, that I want to continue doing this.  The way the kids trusted me and knew they were safe, was a good feeling.  I may have been a stranger, but they quickly learned that they were safe here, and they could depend on us.  I hope they have lasting memories of their time here.  I know we will always remember them.

And, as soon as our agency knew that these kids were leaving, they contacted the other county about the girls we've been waiting for since the beginning of July.  They are still waiting for us.  So, this weekend we are having another meeting to go over visitation schedules, their day to day schedules, school needs, etc.  Court for them is September 10th and they are looking to place them by that point.  Maybe sooner.  It's a start.  I think we may still end up with them. Which would be the best possible placement at this point because the kids already bonded and got along great, and we had a connection as well.  Plus, they are potentially adoptable.  So I'm still going to believe that things happen for a reason, and we will see how it all turns out.