School meeting

On Wednesday, I had the big school meeting.  Shortly after school had started, Kristopher started getting whiney and upset about having to go.  I'd say it was probably 2 weeks into it.  Last year he was a total opposite of this, so it was concerning to us.  I started by emailing the teacher, and got told that he is very happy to be there when he is there.  He is friendly with everyone, and participates well.  She was very confused by my concerns because he was different there. 
Around that 3rd week, I realized he was upset with his homework, which was a lot of the same from last year when he was in the advanced reading program.  I had commented to his guidance councilor of his behavior issues, brought it up in therapy, and again to his teacher.  We decided it was time to test him for the Gifted Program, and go from there.  Testing took place very quickly, and then the forever long wait for the results and plan. 

So back to Wednesday.  Because of babysitting again, it was hard to squeeze the appt in that we could both be there.  It was at an awkward time, and I had to take it alone.  It started with "Kristopher is a very smart and intelligent child, and a joy to work with, BUT....."
I think I stopped breathing for a minute. 
Turns out, he has some issues with this teacher.  He had her for that reading program last year, and is very comfortable with her.  He challenges her daily.  If he doesn't want to do something, he tells her flat out "I'm not doing that."  When she challenges back and reminds him the rules and what happens if he doesn't, he immediately changes his mind, does it in a rush and with attitude, but avoids that behavior chart negative impact.    They also mentioned that he is clingy with the adults.  If he needs help on something or questions something, he will not ask a peer.  I asked him why and he says because if I don't know the answer, they are not going to either.  I told him that everyone learns on different levels and while he does know a lot for his age, some people may not know how to read as fast his him, or spell as much, but I bet they have very good opinions and know other areas well.  He thought on that, and said he will try to talk to people more.
They also say that his fine motor skills are horrible.  Very behind apparently.  It was brought up in Kindergarten, and the reason they were not able to push him forward last year.  In Kindergarten, they determined that he holds pencils wrong, but if forced to hold it the right way, his writing becomes hard to read.  His way, he can write very neatly if he is given the chance.  So, they said it was his style, and let him go last year.  This year, it's pointed out and corrected every time it's caught.  "Kristopher hold the pencil this way to write the right way"  Fixes the pencil and makes him try more.  He gets frustrated and says he doesn't want to write then.  "I don't care if you WANT to, you HAVE to do it this way."  So, he's being told that on a very regular basis at school.  In return, it's getting him to the point of not wanting to try because it embarrasses him that it's outted in front of his peers.  Same with cutting. 
Here at home, I've noticed that he holds crayons properly, and we've tried the tiny pencils or pencil grippers to get him to hold those properly, and he doesn't like either.  He plays with legos and playdoh, and does a lot of hand stuff that should be working those fine motor skills.  What it boils down to that they are picking at is still that pencil hold and scissor hold.  It's frustrating to me, based on what we were told last year. 
They also said he's clumsy and runs differently, and that gross motor skills are not up to speed.  Called and brought up with his doctor and was told he is right on track for his age, and that if he runs different, it's probably because his legs are so long.  The kid has inherited our very long legs.  His regular doctor and his therapist are thinking that the school is just picking at every flaw they can think of, just because they've been given the forms and opportunity to do so.

And about his testing.  His IQ is really advanced for his age and grade level.  Most of the assessment put him at a mid to late 2nd grade level, but the #'s are not high enough to allow him to have the gifted help.  It was like 11 away.  And because he is so smart, he does not qualify for the OT at school.  They looked at him and said he clearly needs the OT, but can't provide it because he's not behind everywhere else.  So I'm trying to find someone good around here for me to do on our own.  Screw them.  I think the system sucks on how you either have to be low income or very low IQ to qualify for the help.  Here's a kid that is now starting to hate school because of a few issues that can be fixed if the chance is there, and they are telling us "sorry, we can't help." 

Finally, they also tell us that his reading is not normal.  He can read anything.  Way way way above his grade level.  But, he doesn't read it by sounding it out.  He is the type of person who reads or sees a word, and has it memorized.  So, now that he's into big advanced chapter books, if he comes across bigger words that he's not seen before, he will skip them.  And keep reading like they were not there.  Then, the comprehension part of that activity is ruined because he missed key words.  They claim it's not a bad thing because he is at such a high level, but I see the upset behavior and stress here at home when we have to do reading homework that is "so boring" and "super easy". 
All in all, it was a horrible meeting and nothing that I had been expecting.  I am doing a lot more work than I should have to, to help him along and make this easier for him.  I'm not complaining, because I'll do anything I can to keep his love of his education there, but it should not be pinned on me because he doesn't qualify.  We're going to work with his therapist, have a little more testing done based on these results, get him to an OT appt for a screening and some tips on how to work at home on this.  I have also given him a new chance to have fun and work at the same time.  For every minute of GOOD, non whining writing time he gives me, or drawing, he can have a minute of DS time.  He loves his DS, so he was super excited about that.  I said no more than a half hour at a time, and he is not going to be doing it repeatedly just to spend more time on that.  It seems to work well so far, and he's excited about writing and drawing again. 
I'm sure there is so much more that I'd like to document for my own records, but I forget at this point.  And I've probably bored you all with this giant complaint.  So for now, I'm done.