Another week passed

Well, not really all that much going on. I'm not keeping track of things this month and have no idea what day I'm on. I'm 99% sure that nothing is going on anyway so I won't stress myself out with tracking. I have one more month until my appt with the clinic. After that appt, I'm ordering the herbs and will start those till spring at least. Maybe they will work and I won't have to worry about what is next in the spring!
I've emailed them a lot and found out the whole "cleansing" process is mostly just getting rid of the old unshed lining. I know based on my old history and a lot of these study u/s that my lining is still growing thick even with mostly regular periods. And lately the periods are bad for the first day or so then it's spotting for a few more. I believe with how thick things looked by u/s that everything is not shedding properly anyway. So they said to expect the first month on it to have a lot of brown spotting and the first period might be bad, but then it will regulate fast. It apparently has very high success with PCOS and endo. I figured it's worth a shot. And right around $100 for basically a 4 month supply! Seeing as each cycle will be at least $1000, this could work out in my favor while on a break. Heck it's cheaper than birth control seeing as my insurance won't cover it.
Even though I'm on a break, I can't shut off a lot of the thoughts and wants. I've still had a few emotional breakdowns in the past 2 weeks. Mostly though I'm managing just fine. Like I was told, we still do our part regularly, who knows what might happen. I'll still hold onto that tiny string of hope that someday it will just work on it's own just once and we will get lucky. I guess anything is possible right?