I got an email from a reader friend asking for updates on the foster process. We're still waiting again. We had several calls in September, nothing at all in October, and now a few this month. None of the recent cases are emergency placement, and court dates are still a few weeks out. Kind of just wait and see, but assume it's not going to work out for either of the cases. That's our experience on the non rush cases. I hate waiting, but during this wait we've been working in therapy on better preparing Kristopher for the changes that can happen, and at least with our 2 short stays this summer, he knows a little of what to expect. His therapist has given me a lot of good ideas on how to explain things to him to help him better handle behavior issues we may have. The biggest issue I had over the summer placement was him not wanting to interact with the kids much due to behavior issues. They were a bit wild, but they did respond well to time outs. Towards the end it was getting a lot better but he didn't get enough time with them to see that change. I think he understands it better now, and is more open to helping them overcome the changes in rules and homes.
I've also realized that my babysitting schedule was simply not working for us, and have gone to part time. My ultimate goal at this point will be to end that with a longer term placement, and go to just back up help with babysitting. A big part of the reason that the summer placement did not work out was because I had too many of my own to schedule appts for, and no way to include the babysitting kids. I was stranded, and the demands of a child in the system does not mix well with stranded. So now, we are much better able to handle another situation like that one. I still have a feeling that we will have placement before the end of the year, and it sort of scares me because my gut feeling is that it will be days before Christmas. And I'll be having to rush around to find some things so they don't feel left out or skipped over.
Which brings me to that subject. I can not believe that Christmas is coming again so quickly. We have spoiled this kid for years with way too much crap that truly is not needed. It's exciting for a week or 2, then I'd say 75% of it gets shoved in the toybox and forgotten about. So, this year, I'm cutting back. I usually do black friday shopping and a lot of what I'd get him was impulse purchases because of the savings. I'm not going out black friday this year. What I've done this year so far has been to go out and just browse around stores with him and making mental notes of what he really stops and oohhs and ahhhs over. And if he does it the next time we look, it rates high on the list. The biggest idea I have so far is I'd like to go to Michaels or AC Moore and get a bunch of art supplies. He's kind of outgrowing the crayon and crayola stage, and I'd like to get him paint and better longer lasting supplies. And some sketch books. Create a little art box or something cute that it can be kept in and kept safe and I think it will be a big hit. I also have a list of books that I've noticed him really checking out. In one way he is getting easier, because he's into more of hands on stuff, less toys, but at the same time, he's getting into the more expensive and complicated age. If I wouldn't have done this browsing thing with him, he would be a pretty complicated kid to buy for.
He started OT a week ago, and yesterday was his 2nd session. I am starting to like it. They have been giving me some print offs of things we can work with at home, and we have bought some of the "tools" they use with him so we can practice at home. He will be going for at least 3 months, and then will have another assessment to see if he needs longer. I can see it taking that whole 3 months because he's very off on coordination. We took the bike to yesterday's appt and they worked with him on that some. He can pedal if he has a head start but is so dangerous that I can not trust to take him out of our yard. He watches his feet and hands instead of in front of him, and then panics when it's time to stop and runs into whatever is in his path. It's pretty scary. So, they have him starting way back at the beginning. Not allowed to use the pedals till he can "coast" while looking up and taking in what's around him, not watching his feet.
One thing I have noticed is that he gets highly upset with himself (and everyone helping him) when he gets to something that is challenging to him. He's thrown some good fits for them, throwing the ball down, or the shoe for shoe tying...and even pushed the bike away yesterday when he got mad. He just gives up. They are awesome with handling those fits, where I am not. So that helps me a lot. They help him through that harder stuff, and then I just push him to keep practicing at home after he knows they are not taking no or I quit as an answer. So they get to be the bad guys.
He doesn't totally hate it though. They include enough fun activities that he still likes to go for that. We get a 2 week break now due to Thanksgiving.
Well, enough for the updates today. Will try harder for at least a weekly update...
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Halloween, a day late
Happy Halloween! We're a day late.....OR better yet, 364 days early!
Since Roxie's costume is so hard to see in the first photo, here's just Roxie...
Bat Princess
Friday, October 26, 2012
Friday
Well, it's Friday again and it's another week that I have sucked at updating on here. I have a nasty cold and super busy to top it off. So that's my excuse.
This week we had the first OT evaluation. Since the initial 1st grade meeting last year, there have been some concerns with Kristopher's gross motor as well as fine motor development. Fine motor has improved a good bit, especially if he takes his time and applies himself to it. Gross motor however, he seems to have gotten worse. Maybe it's because he is getting taller and more awkward, who knows. That was his doctor's excuse for it when I brought it up at his yearly appt. Anyway, I decided after another round of forms and still notes from teachers on it, to go get the eval done on my own. And I'm glad I did. As I watched this whole process take place, I started to see more and more "flaws" with the way he does things that should be so much easier for him. The therapist agreed, and the first request was to get a real eye exam. She said she sees a lot that seems like his side vision is impaired. We've had the yearly school eye tests, and the test from the doctor's office at his annual exam, but never to an eye doctor since he passed those. I got a referral to a specialist who deals with the OT office frequently and he goes for that appt on the 6th. It's to check ocular motor skills. If there is a problem with that, it would explain so much of his balance and coordination issues. No matter what the outcome with that, she is starting him in weekly OT as of the 7th. And we get to take the bike so he can practice from someone different and I don't get so much whining fits directed at me. Hopefully she can help.
As for the fine motor. He does not qualify for fine motor OT unless it's through school or paid for out of pocket. If she feels that there is a definite need for that, she can fill out some info for the school and we will push the issue. I really think he just needs to calm down and focus. Writing is not a subject he likes, so he rushes. Same with the cutting. He does not like to take his time.
Thursday night we had an after school activity that I was dreading. They have fall and spring skating nights. Last year we went to both and it was a disaster each time. Back to the above with the balance issues and he flat out would not try. It was meltdown city and he hated the entire night. This year, my husband stand home with the boys I babysit, and me, K, the girl I watch and her mother all went to the event. I was out on the rink with them, and helping K through it all. Which in case you are wondering, supporting an 8 year old who is 4'7 & 66lbs before skates, is quite the task when he can't stay upright and won't even try. I was fine till he started to give me serious attitude issues because he was falling. Like it was my fault. After about 10 minutes of him getting furious, whining and refusing to make any effort at all to help himself when he fell, I walked on up with the others and let him sit there in the middle of the rink. I peeked back a few times and saw him trying to figure out what to do (he couldn't see me through other people) and finally he managed to stand up. It reminded me of the movie Bambi, on the ice. He fell again, but since I wasn't right there, he didn't start the whining/crying fit. He slowly got back up, and next thing I know he was next to us. He tried to hold onto me again and I would keep moving farther away. Finally he started getting super angry at me again, and next thing we know the teacher skates up and compliments him on such a great job. I think she was watching from a distance. He absolutely loves his teacher, and will not display any of the anger and babyish behavior around her. Or in the school at all for that matter. So, he immediately started smiling and showing off how he was trying. She took him along with her and taught him a few tricks on how to keep from falling and magically he was off and never tried to hold onto me again. It was awesome.
And I'll add one more cute picture of the special bond he has with Marley now. She has got to be one of the most sweetest dogs I have ever met. The loyalty she has with him is amazing for how young she is. This is a common thing in our house at night.
This week we had the first OT evaluation. Since the initial 1st grade meeting last year, there have been some concerns with Kristopher's gross motor as well as fine motor development. Fine motor has improved a good bit, especially if he takes his time and applies himself to it. Gross motor however, he seems to have gotten worse. Maybe it's because he is getting taller and more awkward, who knows. That was his doctor's excuse for it when I brought it up at his yearly appt. Anyway, I decided after another round of forms and still notes from teachers on it, to go get the eval done on my own. And I'm glad I did. As I watched this whole process take place, I started to see more and more "flaws" with the way he does things that should be so much easier for him. The therapist agreed, and the first request was to get a real eye exam. She said she sees a lot that seems like his side vision is impaired. We've had the yearly school eye tests, and the test from the doctor's office at his annual exam, but never to an eye doctor since he passed those. I got a referral to a specialist who deals with the OT office frequently and he goes for that appt on the 6th. It's to check ocular motor skills. If there is a problem with that, it would explain so much of his balance and coordination issues. No matter what the outcome with that, she is starting him in weekly OT as of the 7th. And we get to take the bike so he can practice from someone different and I don't get so much whining fits directed at me. Hopefully she can help.
As for the fine motor. He does not qualify for fine motor OT unless it's through school or paid for out of pocket. If she feels that there is a definite need for that, she can fill out some info for the school and we will push the issue. I really think he just needs to calm down and focus. Writing is not a subject he likes, so he rushes. Same with the cutting. He does not like to take his time.
Thursday night we had an after school activity that I was dreading. They have fall and spring skating nights. Last year we went to both and it was a disaster each time. Back to the above with the balance issues and he flat out would not try. It was meltdown city and he hated the entire night. This year, my husband stand home with the boys I babysit, and me, K, the girl I watch and her mother all went to the event. I was out on the rink with them, and helping K through it all. Which in case you are wondering, supporting an 8 year old who is 4'7 & 66lbs before skates, is quite the task when he can't stay upright and won't even try. I was fine till he started to give me serious attitude issues because he was falling. Like it was my fault. After about 10 minutes of him getting furious, whining and refusing to make any effort at all to help himself when he fell, I walked on up with the others and let him sit there in the middle of the rink. I peeked back a few times and saw him trying to figure out what to do (he couldn't see me through other people) and finally he managed to stand up. It reminded me of the movie Bambi, on the ice. He fell again, but since I wasn't right there, he didn't start the whining/crying fit. He slowly got back up, and next thing I know he was next to us. He tried to hold onto me again and I would keep moving farther away. Finally he started getting super angry at me again, and next thing we know the teacher skates up and compliments him on such a great job. I think she was watching from a distance. He absolutely loves his teacher, and will not display any of the anger and babyish behavior around her. Or in the school at all for that matter. So, he immediately started smiling and showing off how he was trying. She took him along with her and taught him a few tricks on how to keep from falling and magically he was off and never tried to hold onto me again. It was awesome.
Before the teacher came and saved the night
After!
And I'll add one more cute picture of the special bond he has with Marley now. She has got to be one of the most sweetest dogs I have ever met. The loyalty she has with him is amazing for how young she is. This is a common thing in our house at night.
Doggy Love
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Confusing
Well, the meeting was not a bad experience really. But it leaves me confused. The teachers do not experience any of the social set backs that I witness. Basically without making this a huge post, the school, including the person I got involved, does not believe he has asperger's. He is very socially involved in school, very advanced and focused on his work, basically a model student. They have noticed his need for following the rules and give a lot of positive praise for doing so good. We have a few changes for his off days, and hopefully that will help him realize that mistakes are ok and not take it so personally.
As for learning wise, they have already on their own realized how advanced he is, and have him involved in an enrichment program as part of the gifted program. 3 days a week he takes part in a special extra session. This just started about 2-3 weeks ago and I have actually seen some progress since that point. I do remember him mentioning it, and I just assumed it was part of the regular day activities. They are going to discuss some other options to help keep him challenged as well.
Its been recommended to try to create more of a structure here to see if that helps him, and include a little down time shortly after getting home so he can rest and have quiet time to relax. I am starting to think that maybe part of his stress and meltdowns has to do with the fact that he tries so hard all day long that when he gets into his comfort zone, he just melts. I have noticed that babysitting full time is not working out in our favor because of how hectic it has become. There's not a regular schedule for evenings anymore, and they have been here later than in the past. It cuts into too much of our time in the evenings and since we're pushing this stricter bedtime routine, he struggles with how late they stay. So, I'm cutting that down to part time as soon as back up help is found. I agree on that subject 100%. Since the baby came along, and the middle child also has some behavior issues and delays, our after school time is pretty much stuck here at the house, and no real structure. It's hard to do much when we don't know how long we have till they are picked up, who's getting them, etc. Going to the park is something we use to do on a regular basis, but with the behavior issues and needs of the youngest 2, it's hard to devote the time he wants. Same with library time. So, part time is clearly needed. The days that I do not have them, it's a lot easier around here in the evenings. Although he does seem bored and plays less when no one else is around to interact with. Sucks being an only child.
Socially need to get out more as well. Competitive sports is not recommended, so I'm suppose to be getting a phone call with several other numbers for places to get him out and involved. We're also going to start helping with some animal shelters because that is a subject he is very highly interested in.
Ideal situation would for the foster program to work out for us. Create a structured environment to make that all blend nicely. It worked when we had the short term placement. Plus I find it so much easier to make and stick to a schedule when it's more than just me and him. Babysitting is the exception because of how disorganized their parents have become.
Anyway, I feel a lot better about the meeting. I feel that he has an awesome teacher this year who is very involved the way we need. I expressed my concerns with the 1st grade experience and basically was told that it was a definite clash in personalities and if I would have spoke up earlier in the year, that would have been changed. I regret that, but the past is the past and it's time to move on. All I can do is push to make this a much better year and to stay on top of things better. I'm still going to look into the evaluation and see if we can get the anxiety diagnosed, and see if we could get some new coping ideas without jumping to meds. Either way, I think we're on the right path now.
As for learning wise, they have already on their own realized how advanced he is, and have him involved in an enrichment program as part of the gifted program. 3 days a week he takes part in a special extra session. This just started about 2-3 weeks ago and I have actually seen some progress since that point. I do remember him mentioning it, and I just assumed it was part of the regular day activities. They are going to discuss some other options to help keep him challenged as well.
Its been recommended to try to create more of a structure here to see if that helps him, and include a little down time shortly after getting home so he can rest and have quiet time to relax. I am starting to think that maybe part of his stress and meltdowns has to do with the fact that he tries so hard all day long that when he gets into his comfort zone, he just melts. I have noticed that babysitting full time is not working out in our favor because of how hectic it has become. There's not a regular schedule for evenings anymore, and they have been here later than in the past. It cuts into too much of our time in the evenings and since we're pushing this stricter bedtime routine, he struggles with how late they stay. So, I'm cutting that down to part time as soon as back up help is found. I agree on that subject 100%. Since the baby came along, and the middle child also has some behavior issues and delays, our after school time is pretty much stuck here at the house, and no real structure. It's hard to do much when we don't know how long we have till they are picked up, who's getting them, etc. Going to the park is something we use to do on a regular basis, but with the behavior issues and needs of the youngest 2, it's hard to devote the time he wants. Same with library time. So, part time is clearly needed. The days that I do not have them, it's a lot easier around here in the evenings. Although he does seem bored and plays less when no one else is around to interact with. Sucks being an only child.
Socially need to get out more as well. Competitive sports is not recommended, so I'm suppose to be getting a phone call with several other numbers for places to get him out and involved. We're also going to start helping with some animal shelters because that is a subject he is very highly interested in.
Ideal situation would for the foster program to work out for us. Create a structured environment to make that all blend nicely. It worked when we had the short term placement. Plus I find it so much easier to make and stick to a schedule when it's more than just me and him. Babysitting is the exception because of how disorganized their parents have become.
Anyway, I feel a lot better about the meeting. I feel that he has an awesome teacher this year who is very involved the way we need. I expressed my concerns with the 1st grade experience and basically was told that it was a definite clash in personalities and if I would have spoke up earlier in the year, that would have been changed. I regret that, but the past is the past and it's time to move on. All I can do is push to make this a much better year and to stay on top of things better. I'm still going to look into the evaluation and see if we can get the anxiety diagnosed, and see if we could get some new coping ideas without jumping to meds. Either way, I think we're on the right path now.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Been busy
Since the last post, I've kinda been a little bit crazy with calls and setting up appts and meetings to help make this school year be a more positive experience.
I haven't really been posting a whole lot about school and left a lot of 1st grade out. Basically, long story short, 1st grade sucked. Somewhere between kindergarten ending and this point, he's started taking school so seriously, that I don't think he allows himself to enjoy it. If he forgets and talks at the wrong time, or any little bit of pointing out a flaw in the day sets him into a major anxiety fit for me at night. He blames himself for hours and hours about whatever happened, and refuses to accept that everyone makes mistakes.
His therapist is starting to see a lot of the angry and guilt he puts on himself as well, and said it was time to request an IEP to help him handle is school day a little better. So after a long consult with her, I marched into school and flat out said that to the guidance counselor. And I was told "you can't just ask for something like that! There has to be reasons behind it. So I explained again. S L O W L Y. Then I'm told "well he is not showing this issues at school, so we still can't just start an IEP without there being a problem in school." So I went home feeling defeated. Then, the next day I get a call from someone my mom knows. (have I mentioned that she works for the county mental health department?) She briefly mentioned to the lady what I've been dealing with, and how I'm feeling about school and asked if she was able to talk to me. So, basically, I got someone higher than the school, involved. She said I most certainly can request him to have an IEP and she feels that if his evenings are being effected to this extreme, than it is time to get the school aware on a more higher level. She requested me to set up a meeting between his teacher, guidance, and herself. Also to get either a formal letter from the therapist with her diagnosis thoughts, what she witnesses, or see if she can personally be present for the meeting. She could not, but I got an awesome letter from her. I approached the school again, and as soon as I mentioned the name, I magically had a meeting scheduled. Wednesday is the big day.
So, I've been busy trying to sort all that out, and still helping him through his struggles.
I'm at the point that if we can not get anywhere this school year, I'm taking serious consideration into pulling him out and doing the Public Cyber School option our state has. There are so many more social opportunities around here for homeschool students, as apposed to regular school students. And the time frame to participate is so much easier. I'm still trying to avoid that option because he does like school. Or the idea of school. I'm not sure what it is. And I know they can hold his attention so much easier than I can. I just want him to get the help he needs, and to go back to how he was in Kindergarten when he loved school so much, gave his work his all, and had a ton of friends that he was excited to see.
That's it for today. More after the big meeting Wednesday.
I haven't really been posting a whole lot about school and left a lot of 1st grade out. Basically, long story short, 1st grade sucked. Somewhere between kindergarten ending and this point, he's started taking school so seriously, that I don't think he allows himself to enjoy it. If he forgets and talks at the wrong time, or any little bit of pointing out a flaw in the day sets him into a major anxiety fit for me at night. He blames himself for hours and hours about whatever happened, and refuses to accept that everyone makes mistakes.
His therapist is starting to see a lot of the angry and guilt he puts on himself as well, and said it was time to request an IEP to help him handle is school day a little better. So after a long consult with her, I marched into school and flat out said that to the guidance counselor. And I was told "you can't just ask for something like that! There has to be reasons behind it. So I explained again. S L O W L Y. Then I'm told "well he is not showing this issues at school, so we still can't just start an IEP without there being a problem in school." So I went home feeling defeated. Then, the next day I get a call from someone my mom knows. (have I mentioned that she works for the county mental health department?) She briefly mentioned to the lady what I've been dealing with, and how I'm feeling about school and asked if she was able to talk to me. So, basically, I got someone higher than the school, involved. She said I most certainly can request him to have an IEP and she feels that if his evenings are being effected to this extreme, than it is time to get the school aware on a more higher level. She requested me to set up a meeting between his teacher, guidance, and herself. Also to get either a formal letter from the therapist with her diagnosis thoughts, what she witnesses, or see if she can personally be present for the meeting. She could not, but I got an awesome letter from her. I approached the school again, and as soon as I mentioned the name, I magically had a meeting scheduled. Wednesday is the big day.
So, I've been busy trying to sort all that out, and still helping him through his struggles.
I'm at the point that if we can not get anywhere this school year, I'm taking serious consideration into pulling him out and doing the Public Cyber School option our state has. There are so many more social opportunities around here for homeschool students, as apposed to regular school students. And the time frame to participate is so much easier. I'm still trying to avoid that option because he does like school. Or the idea of school. I'm not sure what it is. And I know they can hold his attention so much easier than I can. I just want him to get the help he needs, and to go back to how he was in Kindergarten when he loved school so much, gave his work his all, and had a ton of friends that he was excited to see.
That's it for today. More after the big meeting Wednesday.
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