Confusing

Well, the meeting was not a bad experience really.  But it leaves me confused.  The teachers do not experience any of the social set backs that I witness.  Basically without making this a huge post, the school, including the person I got involved, does not believe he has asperger's.  He is very socially involved in school, very advanced and focused on his work, basically a model student.  They have noticed his need for following the rules and give a lot of positive praise for doing so good.  We have a few changes for his off days, and hopefully that will help him realize that mistakes are ok and not take it so personally.

As for learning wise, they have already on their own realized how advanced he is, and have him involved in an enrichment program as part of the gifted program.  3 days a week he takes part in a special extra session.  This just started about 2-3 weeks ago and I have actually seen some progress since that point.  I do remember him mentioning it, and I just assumed it was part of the regular day activities.  They are going to discuss some other options to help keep him challenged as well. 

Its  been recommended to try to create more of a structure here to see if that helps him, and include a little down time shortly after getting home so he can rest and have quiet time to relax.  I am starting to think that maybe part of his stress and meltdowns has to do with the fact that he tries so hard all day long that when he gets into his comfort zone, he just melts.  I have noticed that babysitting full time is not working out in our favor because of how hectic it has become.  There's not a regular schedule for evenings anymore, and they have been here later than in the past.  It cuts into too much of our time in the evenings and since we're pushing this stricter bedtime routine, he struggles with how late they stay.  So, I'm cutting that down to part time as soon as back up help is found.  I agree on that subject 100%.  Since the baby came along, and the middle child also has some behavior issues and delays, our after school time is pretty much stuck here at the house, and no real structure.  It's hard to do much when we don't know how long we have till they are picked up, who's getting them, etc.  Going to the park is something we use to do on a regular basis, but with the behavior issues and needs of the youngest 2, it's hard to devote the time he wants.  Same with library time.  So, part time is clearly needed.  The days that I do not have them, it's a lot easier around here in the evenings.  Although he does seem bored and plays less when no one else is around to interact with.  Sucks being an only child.

Socially need to get out more as well.  Competitive sports is not recommended, so I'm suppose to be getting a phone call with several other numbers for places to get him out and involved.  We're also going to start helping with some animal shelters because that is a subject he is very highly interested in. 

Ideal situation would for the foster program to work out for us.  Create a structured environment to make that all blend nicely.  It worked when we had the short term placement.  Plus I find it so much easier to make and stick to a schedule when it's more than just me and him.  Babysitting is the exception because of how disorganized their parents have become. 
Anyway,  I feel  a lot better about the meeting.  I feel that he has an awesome teacher this year who is very involved the way we need.  I expressed my concerns with the 1st grade experience and basically was told that it was a definite clash in personalities and if I would have spoke up earlier in the year, that would have been changed.  I regret that, but the past is the past and it's time to move on.  All I can do is push to make this a much better year and to stay on top of things better.   I'm still going to look into the evaluation and see if we can get the anxiety diagnosed, and see if we could get some new coping ideas without jumping to meds.  Either way, I think we're on the right path now.