So Wednesday when I can process things better, I'll write a longer post.
And I'll end with a few pictures since that's been a while.
Kristopher & the girls on his b-day
Monday, September 24, 2012
Diagnosis
After a year and half of very regular therapy, ups and downs with school, definite ups and downs at home, I've finally got something to call this. Asperger's. "Mildly" but still aspergers. I've questioned it, we tested last year, and were told just anxiety. Now more and more issues come out, more stress and confusion on my behalf, and finally last week she says that she believes this is what it is now. We did not go through whatever formal testing they may do to say 100% for sure, but I am sure. This Wednesday I have a meeting one on one with her, and we're going to discuss things further. I don't want there to be something wrong with my kid, but it's very frustrating to sit back and watch everything he goes through and not know what is causing it. I knew for a while that it was more than anxiety.
So Wednesday when I can process things better, I'll write a longer post.
And I'll end with a few pictures since that's been a while.
Kristopher & the girls on his b-day
So Wednesday when I can process things better, I'll write a longer post.
And I'll end with a few pictures since that's been a while.
Kristopher & the girls on his b-day
Monday, September 10, 2012
Game continues
The entire freaking foster game is getting old. We are still back and forth on this same subject of the girls.
The last post about them said it was over. Due to some scary stuff that we were told at our final meeting. Then, I come to find out last week that a big part of that scary stuff was all for show, and because the people involved were trying to scare us. They didn't like how far the kids would be moving, and thought they'd make it sound really bad so that we would say no. And the person they wanted (very screwed up situation) would get them instead. We were scared, and we did say no. Then, a week later it all got back to the supervisor at CYS and she was FURIOUS. Basically we were lied to and it was a scare tactic. We had requested real information on the background and our fears, and were back on waiting for the court date. We were told the person that the family wanted, was definitely not going to get them, and if we wanted them still, we were who the county wanted. So we talked, and decided we still wanted and were not going to let the what ifs get in the way. We were prepared to fight. I was planning a weekend full of room arranging and preparing for them to be coming Monday. Sounds real good right? We even told Kristopher that it was probably going to happen afterall.
Then....Friday late afternoon we get an email saying that now they are not moving at all, and the supervisor was very sorry to leave it at that but was late for an appt. We are not to report to court, they are not moving, updates will come Monday. Seriously freaking craziest cases ever is all we seem to get.
In the meantime. The respite girl we had this summer is now in need of a new foster home. She's going on 15, has mild mental retardation, special needs in school, unique situation with her as well. They need someone who could provide a foster home till they could find a permenant home that would be willing to adopt. It could take a good bit of time. She and Kristopher did get along pretty well, with a few issues at first because it was all new to everyone. She had a lot of needs, but I think in time we could learn how to parent her. But, we're talking a while. I don't think we could adopt her, but if we take her in, we have to be committed to making her safe and welcome till she can find a family of her own. She's way over the age group we were looking at. We were starting this process with the hopes to foster to adopt. Kristopher doesn't want to be the youngest, but did ok with her because she's actually on a social and learning level below him. That was also pretty confusing to him as well. There is a lot of things to factor into a decision to help or not in this case. It would most likely mean no other placement till she has moved on. If that takes a year or 2, we've pretty much lost out on our younger age group hopes because I don't want to be starting all over when Kristopher is over 10. By the time he's at that preteen stage, it's going to be a lot harder to bring in little kids and still be able to do all the stuff we've become accustom to doing as a family. Right now it's still ok because of babysitting and him already being use to that. And same with me. But, this girl may not have anywhere else to go. I have a huge list of questions about her care, her lifestyle, and all that good stuff to sit and talk with the agency about tomorrow. I need to make sure we can still function the way we do, with her needs, and still make her feel welcomed and loved.
So it's been pretty trying here. I'm tired of the exciting planning part, then everything changing. This is so much worse than the TTC waiting game. They are hanging real kids in our hopes, we're learning about them, meeting them, planning a life with them in it, and then as we get comfortable and ready, they take them. At least when I was waiting to know if a cycle worked, there wasn't a promise of a child right there already waiting.
But, with all the craziness, our trial runs, and the mental planning, I know without a doubt this is what I want to do. I'm officially ok with the fact that I may never get pregnant again. I may never give birth to another child. But I know without a doubt, that someday, I will have more children. I will get the chance to help a child who truly needs me. I just have to somehow learn patience to wait this out. Waiting has never been something I've been good at.
The last post about them said it was over. Due to some scary stuff that we were told at our final meeting. Then, I come to find out last week that a big part of that scary stuff was all for show, and because the people involved were trying to scare us. They didn't like how far the kids would be moving, and thought they'd make it sound really bad so that we would say no. And the person they wanted (very screwed up situation) would get them instead. We were scared, and we did say no. Then, a week later it all got back to the supervisor at CYS and she was FURIOUS. Basically we were lied to and it was a scare tactic. We had requested real information on the background and our fears, and were back on waiting for the court date. We were told the person that the family wanted, was definitely not going to get them, and if we wanted them still, we were who the county wanted. So we talked, and decided we still wanted and were not going to let the what ifs get in the way. We were prepared to fight. I was planning a weekend full of room arranging and preparing for them to be coming Monday. Sounds real good right? We even told Kristopher that it was probably going to happen afterall.
Then....Friday late afternoon we get an email saying that now they are not moving at all, and the supervisor was very sorry to leave it at that but was late for an appt. We are not to report to court, they are not moving, updates will come Monday. Seriously freaking craziest cases ever is all we seem to get.
In the meantime. The respite girl we had this summer is now in need of a new foster home. She's going on 15, has mild mental retardation, special needs in school, unique situation with her as well. They need someone who could provide a foster home till they could find a permenant home that would be willing to adopt. It could take a good bit of time. She and Kristopher did get along pretty well, with a few issues at first because it was all new to everyone. She had a lot of needs, but I think in time we could learn how to parent her. But, we're talking a while. I don't think we could adopt her, but if we take her in, we have to be committed to making her safe and welcome till she can find a family of her own. She's way over the age group we were looking at. We were starting this process with the hopes to foster to adopt. Kristopher doesn't want to be the youngest, but did ok with her because she's actually on a social and learning level below him. That was also pretty confusing to him as well. There is a lot of things to factor into a decision to help or not in this case. It would most likely mean no other placement till she has moved on. If that takes a year or 2, we've pretty much lost out on our younger age group hopes because I don't want to be starting all over when Kristopher is over 10. By the time he's at that preteen stage, it's going to be a lot harder to bring in little kids and still be able to do all the stuff we've become accustom to doing as a family. Right now it's still ok because of babysitting and him already being use to that. And same with me. But, this girl may not have anywhere else to go. I have a huge list of questions about her care, her lifestyle, and all that good stuff to sit and talk with the agency about tomorrow. I need to make sure we can still function the way we do, with her needs, and still make her feel welcomed and loved.
So it's been pretty trying here. I'm tired of the exciting planning part, then everything changing. This is so much worse than the TTC waiting game. They are hanging real kids in our hopes, we're learning about them, meeting them, planning a life with them in it, and then as we get comfortable and ready, they take them. At least when I was waiting to know if a cycle worked, there wasn't a promise of a child right there already waiting.
But, with all the craziness, our trial runs, and the mental planning, I know without a doubt this is what I want to do. I'm officially ok with the fact that I may never get pregnant again. I may never give birth to another child. But I know without a doubt, that someday, I will have more children. I will get the chance to help a child who truly needs me. I just have to somehow learn patience to wait this out. Waiting has never been something I've been good at.
8
We had a birthday last week! I suck at updating. This post was started last week....geez.
So, to document everything for turning the big number 8, here's what we have.
He's just started 2nd grade. LOVES school as always, and so far seems to be his best year. No issues with being dropped off, comes home in a good mood, and bedtime has been a little bit easier.
He is 4'7" and towers over the rest of his class, and is around 62lbs. He looks starved because of how tall and boney he is. We've came a long way from our super chunky baby who was off the charts in all areas. He's still off the charts in his height, but back to a below middle range for the weight. I find that interesting.
We have moved from the car seat/booster seat stage and he now sits on the regular seat in the car. Scares the crap out of me, but size wise, the belt did not fit properly anymore with him in the booster. And no matter what the seats say, the 5pt harness does not fit a kid this size. Not safely. This is a huge subject for me, but I've finally came to the realization that we are done with that stage until we have another little kid. Whether that be through birth, or fostiner, or whatever. Either way, it's scary to see your child just hopping into the car and sitting on the normal seat with nothing extra to protect them.
His likes at this point is #1 DS. He's addicted to mario, and also loves angry birds.
He still reads first thing every morning when he wakes up, and loves Magic Tree House chapter books. He can read at a much higher level, but loves the stories so sticks to those. He can finish one of those books in under an hour when he really focuses on strictly reading. We're starting to get higher level, longer books, and spend time every evening reading a chapter or 2 before bed.
Anxiety is still kinda high, especially at bedtime. We have a new reward system we are working at, and it seems to be working pretty good. He is still in therapy and goes every other week now.
This summer he has learned to ride his bike. He still struggles and gets scared at times, but the training wheels are gone! And he practices in our bumpy yard, so if he can do it there, I'm sure when we hit the trails we like, he will do totally fine. Although, it's time to upgrade his bike. He still has an 18 inch bike, which he looks like a giant when he sits on it.
And, he's also learned to tie his shoes! We've struggled with some of the motor skills stuff for a while and there was just a big change over the past few months that he's really gotten older.
I question this whole upcoming puberty subject as well. The kid is getting hairy. As in dark leg hair. As well as his back. And I noticed a little on his upper lip. Geez. He just turned 8. It has to be too soon right? He's hit everything so early with everything else, this subject definitely scares me. Also, I noticed his nose and forehead had very slight breaking out starting. So not ready.....
I'll have to post pictures another day. I am definitely lacking in that.
So, to document everything for turning the big number 8, here's what we have.
He's just started 2nd grade. LOVES school as always, and so far seems to be his best year. No issues with being dropped off, comes home in a good mood, and bedtime has been a little bit easier.
He is 4'7" and towers over the rest of his class, and is around 62lbs. He looks starved because of how tall and boney he is. We've came a long way from our super chunky baby who was off the charts in all areas. He's still off the charts in his height, but back to a below middle range for the weight. I find that interesting.
We have moved from the car seat/booster seat stage and he now sits on the regular seat in the car. Scares the crap out of me, but size wise, the belt did not fit properly anymore with him in the booster. And no matter what the seats say, the 5pt harness does not fit a kid this size. Not safely. This is a huge subject for me, but I've finally came to the realization that we are done with that stage until we have another little kid. Whether that be through birth, or fostiner, or whatever. Either way, it's scary to see your child just hopping into the car and sitting on the normal seat with nothing extra to protect them.
His likes at this point is #1 DS. He's addicted to mario, and also loves angry birds.
He still reads first thing every morning when he wakes up, and loves Magic Tree House chapter books. He can read at a much higher level, but loves the stories so sticks to those. He can finish one of those books in under an hour when he really focuses on strictly reading. We're starting to get higher level, longer books, and spend time every evening reading a chapter or 2 before bed.
Anxiety is still kinda high, especially at bedtime. We have a new reward system we are working at, and it seems to be working pretty good. He is still in therapy and goes every other week now.
This summer he has learned to ride his bike. He still struggles and gets scared at times, but the training wheels are gone! And he practices in our bumpy yard, so if he can do it there, I'm sure when we hit the trails we like, he will do totally fine. Although, it's time to upgrade his bike. He still has an 18 inch bike, which he looks like a giant when he sits on it.
And, he's also learned to tie his shoes! We've struggled with some of the motor skills stuff for a while and there was just a big change over the past few months that he's really gotten older.
I question this whole upcoming puberty subject as well. The kid is getting hairy. As in dark leg hair. As well as his back. And I noticed a little on his upper lip. Geez. He just turned 8. It has to be too soon right? He's hit everything so early with everything else, this subject definitely scares me. Also, I noticed his nose and forehead had very slight breaking out starting. So not ready.....
I'll have to post pictures another day. I am definitely lacking in that.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Second Grade
Yesterday was the start of the new school year. Kristopher is in 2nd grade this year! He is very excited about his new teacher and had a chance to get to know her last year as they prepped him for the changes. He's already made a new friend and was super excited to go back today.
Back to school photos:
Back to school photos:
.
Every year we would take one with him and Zoey together. This is the first year for the puppies. He was pretty excited for this one!
Ready to go
Walking into school. We opted to buy the backpack from Lands End this year. The first 2 years I allowed him to get the character style stuff from Target and the quality flat out sucked. I know several people who have had the lands end backpacks and they have lasted for years and years. So, he picked the space theme. I am very impressed so far with the quality and it definitely feels built to last. And the customer service was awesome so I definitely would recommend them to everyone!
And now he's tired of the photos. This is his look of "please just stop and let me go in already."
I can't believe he's already in 2nd grade. And Monday he will be turning 8 years old. It's been a huge year of so many changes and so much growing up. I hope this is his best year yet for school, and already feel like he has the best teacher he's had so far. She seems very awesome and dedicated, and hopefully helps him reach his full potential.
I can't believe he's already in 2nd grade. And Monday he will be turning 8 years old. It's been a huge year of so many changes and so much growing up. I hope this is his best year yet for school, and already feel like he has the best teacher he's had so far. She seems very awesome and dedicated, and hopefully helps him reach his full potential.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Final decision was made
We will not be getting the 2 girls that I have been writing about for almost 2 months. We had a final meeting to go over anything we would need to know before they get placed. We were suppose to appear for court in September, they would be leaving with us from there, and it sounded like it was a long term, able to adopt them type of case. We bonded with them over the visits, Kristopher bonded really quickly, and all 3 kids got along really great.
Then the bomb was dropped. The biological parents have very scary criminal history. The one will be getting out of prison in a little less than 2 yrs. With that, comes a lot of threats on "making anyone involved pay" who was part of causing them to lose their parental rights. Obviously in their minds, their actions meant nothing. They should be able to pick up 10 years later like they were not gone the entire lives of these children. And the even scarier part of these threats, is they have threatened and acted in the past on other subjects. Well planned out, sick ideas. So the reason this has been so confusing has been because there are serious risks involved when they are no longer locked up and anyone involved is at risk of being hunted down by the sound of it. It was the deal breaker. Way too serious of risks. I can not put my family through that. In my opinion, these people have already missed out on so much of the kids lives. They have already screwed up their own lives to the point of not able to make anything of themselves ever again. They sit there in prison and plot revenge. Not learn from mistakes and better themselves. They are sitting there with such hate and rage, just planning what they can do when they get out. They have threatened their own daughter and grand daughter for allowing this to happen. Just not going to get involved at this point. It's way too much.
It was a hard decision to make because we invested so much time. We got close, we've been mentally picturing ourselves as a family of 5...As having 2 daughters. Of having 3 kids. Of what we could do as a family. How Christmas would be. How trips would be more fun, etc. Not just with extra kids, but with THESE kids.
And I'm furious. This is information that should have been disclosed to us from the very first meeting. Our agency is in just as much shock as we are, because they were not even told this.
So we're back to the beginning. It could be a few days of waiting, it could be a few more months. All I know is right now, we have nothing to plan for and it can be any day. I hate the limbo of all this. I've officially ate my words. This is harder than ttc and the waiting game. This shows me real live children, and what our life could be like. And it sucks.
But....I'm in this to help and I know the right placement will come our way. I believe it all happens for a reason. And right now I'm just going to believe that this happened this way to protect us from something bad. I just hope that they figure out how to protect the kids and everyone who is involved in this before the parents can act on their revenge. I don't see how they can make those threats, and be allowed out to take that chance.
Then the bomb was dropped. The biological parents have very scary criminal history. The one will be getting out of prison in a little less than 2 yrs. With that, comes a lot of threats on "making anyone involved pay" who was part of causing them to lose their parental rights. Obviously in their minds, their actions meant nothing. They should be able to pick up 10 years later like they were not gone the entire lives of these children. And the even scarier part of these threats, is they have threatened and acted in the past on other subjects. Well planned out, sick ideas. So the reason this has been so confusing has been because there are serious risks involved when they are no longer locked up and anyone involved is at risk of being hunted down by the sound of it. It was the deal breaker. Way too serious of risks. I can not put my family through that. In my opinion, these people have already missed out on so much of the kids lives. They have already screwed up their own lives to the point of not able to make anything of themselves ever again. They sit there in prison and plot revenge. Not learn from mistakes and better themselves. They are sitting there with such hate and rage, just planning what they can do when they get out. They have threatened their own daughter and grand daughter for allowing this to happen. Just not going to get involved at this point. It's way too much.
It was a hard decision to make because we invested so much time. We got close, we've been mentally picturing ourselves as a family of 5...As having 2 daughters. Of having 3 kids. Of what we could do as a family. How Christmas would be. How trips would be more fun, etc. Not just with extra kids, but with THESE kids.
And I'm furious. This is information that should have been disclosed to us from the very first meeting. Our agency is in just as much shock as we are, because they were not even told this.
So we're back to the beginning. It could be a few days of waiting, it could be a few more months. All I know is right now, we have nothing to plan for and it can be any day. I hate the limbo of all this. I've officially ate my words. This is harder than ttc and the waiting game. This shows me real live children, and what our life could be like. And it sucks.
But....I'm in this to help and I know the right placement will come our way. I believe it all happens for a reason. And right now I'm just going to believe that this happened this way to protect us from something bad. I just hope that they figure out how to protect the kids and everyone who is involved in this before the parents can act on their revenge. I don't see how they can make those threats, and be allowed out to take that chance.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)