I'm getting more and more excited about this new step. And nervous and stressed at the same time.
I mailed phase 1 of paperwork on saturday morning. Also sent off our first set of clearance request forms. I thought this may be easier because it wouldn't be so up in the air with wonder and worry, but it seems to have its own set of things to think about. Constantly.
I am a planner. I have to be able to prepare, but in this case, we have no idea what age we're going to get, sex, what needs it will have, if it's here to stay, etc. I can't buy stuff in advance. I can't stock pile diapers and baby supplies like I did while I was pregnant and waiting on Kristopher. There's a lot of changes that need to happen in our home to prepare us for the big home study, but I can't really do much on that end either. Not on my own. So I sit here during the days, mentally planning and feeling overwhelmed because there is not enough time on the one day my husband is off, to accomplish much just yet. And still allow him to have time to rest, and for us to have decent family time.
I'm still excited though, and know that we're one step closer. For my own documentation of all this, I'll probably blog more. Phase one is sent. Phase 2 is starting. We're one step closer. This is all for real now. We're truly starting the adoption process. I feel more positive about this, than any of the doctor appts or studies. This holds real hope.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Lots of changes
It's time to move on. There are new journey's to start. One thing I'm moving past, is the infertility treatment part of my life. Do you know, we've been trying to create our family for over 10 years now? Seriously. We got married in 2001. We started trying right away. Actually, I quit birth control before we got married and we were never careful. We're at the point now that clomid is no longer recommended. They want me to move up to injections, iui, and lots of more involved appts and treatments. I'm done. I don't have it in me anymore. My heart has not been in it for a while actually. Maybe that's why I had such bad luck with the studies. I just have been so worn out and exhausted by the frequent visits, the constant blood work, the crazy hormones from the meds. I'm officially weighing more than I have in a long time. Coming off this clomid buzz or whatever you want to call it, has been really difficult on me. My hormones are starting to balance out to my "normal". I haven't gotten a period since the final round. I may start herbs again just for the regularity, and mental support. It did help balance me out and not cause the craziness.
We've got some home repairs to work at to make it easier to have another child. Room rearranging, I want to get K a new bed and save his twin size bed for if the child is old enough for that. I want to get a new car seat that is acceptible for any age group (Radian is my plan). I think this is a lot like nesting. Major nesting without an end date in sight. At least I'm not overly huge and uncomfortable.
Oh and the diet is going to start again. This time for me. To feel better and be healthier. New year, new start. It's long overdue.
Now, that all being said, we still want to grow. We want another child. We've started the adoption process. My original plan was to try international adoption, because the older Kristopher gets, the more I'd like to bypass the newborn stage. Babysitting has proved that it's not as easy as it was when we had K, and the older I get, the more tired and less patience I have. So, my ideal situation would have been internationally adopting. Getting a child that is past the newborn stage, and between 9-18 months. But, the problem with that is we have to travel, and for 2-3 weeks, sometimes longer, sometimes 2 trips. Depending on where we picked. I can not leave Kristopher that long. It's just not possible. And then there is my husband's job. And my babysitting commitments. And the dogs. Just too much depending on us to be here right now. I don't see that changing for years. So after talking with the agency, it was recommend if we were open to it, foster to adopt. We thought about it. We reviewed the paperwork and had 2 meetings. And we've started the process of the mountain of paperwork. We're going for it! To me, it sounds like a great idea. We have a chance to make a difference in a kid's life. Whether it ends up staying with us for good and we adopt, or we make a difference in a really hard point of their lives.
So here's the details. We've started paperwork. Phase one is in the works. We have foster resource training in Feb. We have to finish background checks. The entire process to become approved, have the home study and entire their system, is about 3 months. I'm ocd, so I've already made tons of copies of stuff, and filled out a bunch of these forms. We're entering the system with the age range of up to preschool age. Under 5. We have a lot of benefits to our family that will make us a good match they say. There is always a chance of a newborn. It's not something we can really plan much, but I'm open to that if the chance became available. The type of child that gets placed with us, is going to have a better chance of adoption in time, because we are open to that. Not saying that it will definitely become adoptable. There are so many risks and we can't get too hopeful till it was truly in the works and finalized. Once that happens, there's no turning back. It's just a long process of the child in our care as a foster while that paperwork and stuff is going through. We're prepared and think we can handle this.
That's what's going on here. I'll track a little of the journey, but obviously due to the way it works, real important details will not be publicly posted. Such as names/photos/etc.
Current game plan is:
- Send phase 1 paperwork this weekend.
- Get background checks completed.
- Training classes in late Feb.
- online training courses
- 2 books to be read and tests completed.
- home study and meetings
- then the waiting game
We've got some home repairs to work at to make it easier to have another child. Room rearranging, I want to get K a new bed and save his twin size bed for if the child is old enough for that. I want to get a new car seat that is acceptible for any age group (Radian is my plan). I think this is a lot like nesting. Major nesting without an end date in sight. At least I'm not overly huge and uncomfortable.
Oh and the diet is going to start again. This time for me. To feel better and be healthier. New year, new start. It's long overdue.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Ready to fight
*UPDATE*
Got my return call and the guidance councilor will work with him one on one to help him understand it better. And we're going to make a ton of flashcards to use here since he's really into stuff like that. AND they are going to make the teacher aware not to give any NEW info till he has a chance to sit down with someone and understand it. Progress....
ORIGINAL POST
Of course, I suck at posting regularly again. Things have been busy, lots we're preparing for and special secret stuff in the works for an exciting future. More on that another time.
I thought I'd wait a day or 2 to post about this, and allow myself time to calm down, but it's not working well. So maybe if I clear my mind on here, I'll settle down before the phone call comes.
As I posted before, Kristopher was tested for gifted this year. His score was very close to the min needed to get extra classes and support, but the district is super strict about that. They tried the extra enrichment, but took away his only social time and free play time in the day. So he got upset and didn't want to do any of it. Fought them every step of the way and hated going to school till I finally said to just stop trying the extra stuff. Since then, he's great about going, and is thriving. Until last week. He started acting out again, and just all around frustrated here at home. Friday he got in trouble for talking repeatedly when he wasn't suppose to, and attitude again about not wanting to be there.
He's pasted his 1st grade math in around November. They up'd him to 2nd grade addition and subtraction, and he passed that before Christmas. Now, he's moved up to multiplication. He was so excited. The way they test and move up is by 1-1:30 min timed tests. So, he gets the advanced tests during that time, but group time is strictly on 1st grade work. He passes everything with flying colors from that, and was doing great on the tests till the multiply work came out. He barely gets anything correct on the tests. Which makes him very upset. He use to turn his tests over and draw while waiting, and now he scribbles and writes "Did not pass!!!" and puts x's all over the paper. And you can tell he's trying to chissel the words down because it presses thru and is very dark.
So, I sat and calmly tried working with him. He's on 10 x whatever, 20 x whatever, etc. I explained it's just like it is without the zeros, and for the answer he just adds whatever zero's are there. He got the 10 x1, 10x2, but then when he got to 10 x 10, he got very upset to learn it was not 10. So I calmly explained it again, making it fun and no pressure. He learns very quick and got that concept fast. But then we get to 20's and he gets super upset again and starts crying when I say an answer is not correct and try to help him again. He just gives up. He says he wants to go back to the 1st grade stuff so he can get his tests right again and get new flash cards. I asked him if they are talking about this with him at school and he says "no, i just get the tests at test time." So in my head I am flipping out, swearing, wanting to kill, whatever. They are giving him what he needs to push him, but they don't tell him a single thing about how to work at it????? Seriously??? We asked him several times and he says all they do during group time is the normal work, and then boom, there's the random test that he has no idea. And I'm stuck picking up the pieces here yet again, and working with him at home.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with helping him from home. But he should also be getting help with this at school. Real instructions from his teacher. That's why he's there isn't it? So now he's having sleep issues and wants me to give him tons of worksheets to practice so he can pass. He's constantly thinking about it and his "times" work.
So, rather than even try with his regular teacher or the math teacher, I have a call in for the guidance councilor and I want freaking answers. He has therapy tomorrow and I'm going to get her involved if I have to. I just find it so frustrating that there are so many options for the kids that can get a real diagnosis, and those that are right on for the gifted program, but give them a kid with anxiety and that's not a real enough condition to give him a little extra support or thought. If this drama does not get better, I swear I will pull him out and we will just do the cyber schooling that's offered here. I'm not going to have him feeling like he's crap just because someone doesn't want to make time for him. If I'm going to be doing all the work, there is no point in the rushing around we do to get him to and from school anymore. I'm sick of it.
So now we wait. I don't know how long it will take for the call back. I think they are tired of my whining. I'm trying to be nice, but it's going to get ugly real soon.
Got my return call and the guidance councilor will work with him one on one to help him understand it better. And we're going to make a ton of flashcards to use here since he's really into stuff like that. AND they are going to make the teacher aware not to give any NEW info till he has a chance to sit down with someone and understand it. Progress....
ORIGINAL POST
Of course, I suck at posting regularly again. Things have been busy, lots we're preparing for and special secret stuff in the works for an exciting future. More on that another time.
I thought I'd wait a day or 2 to post about this, and allow myself time to calm down, but it's not working well. So maybe if I clear my mind on here, I'll settle down before the phone call comes.
As I posted before, Kristopher was tested for gifted this year. His score was very close to the min needed to get extra classes and support, but the district is super strict about that. They tried the extra enrichment, but took away his only social time and free play time in the day. So he got upset and didn't want to do any of it. Fought them every step of the way and hated going to school till I finally said to just stop trying the extra stuff. Since then, he's great about going, and is thriving. Until last week. He started acting out again, and just all around frustrated here at home. Friday he got in trouble for talking repeatedly when he wasn't suppose to, and attitude again about not wanting to be there.
He's pasted his 1st grade math in around November. They up'd him to 2nd grade addition and subtraction, and he passed that before Christmas. Now, he's moved up to multiplication. He was so excited. The way they test and move up is by 1-1:30 min timed tests. So, he gets the advanced tests during that time, but group time is strictly on 1st grade work. He passes everything with flying colors from that, and was doing great on the tests till the multiply work came out. He barely gets anything correct on the tests. Which makes him very upset. He use to turn his tests over and draw while waiting, and now he scribbles and writes "Did not pass!!!" and puts x's all over the paper. And you can tell he's trying to chissel the words down because it presses thru and is very dark.
So, I sat and calmly tried working with him. He's on 10 x whatever, 20 x whatever, etc. I explained it's just like it is without the zeros, and for the answer he just adds whatever zero's are there. He got the 10 x1, 10x2, but then when he got to 10 x 10, he got very upset to learn it was not 10. So I calmly explained it again, making it fun and no pressure. He learns very quick and got that concept fast. But then we get to 20's and he gets super upset again and starts crying when I say an answer is not correct and try to help him again. He just gives up. He says he wants to go back to the 1st grade stuff so he can get his tests right again and get new flash cards. I asked him if they are talking about this with him at school and he says "no, i just get the tests at test time." So in my head I am flipping out, swearing, wanting to kill, whatever. They are giving him what he needs to push him, but they don't tell him a single thing about how to work at it????? Seriously??? We asked him several times and he says all they do during group time is the normal work, and then boom, there's the random test that he has no idea. And I'm stuck picking up the pieces here yet again, and working with him at home.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with helping him from home. But he should also be getting help with this at school. Real instructions from his teacher. That's why he's there isn't it? So now he's having sleep issues and wants me to give him tons of worksheets to practice so he can pass. He's constantly thinking about it and his "times" work.
So, rather than even try with his regular teacher or the math teacher, I have a call in for the guidance councilor and I want freaking answers. He has therapy tomorrow and I'm going to get her involved if I have to. I just find it so frustrating that there are so many options for the kids that can get a real diagnosis, and those that are right on for the gifted program, but give them a kid with anxiety and that's not a real enough condition to give him a little extra support or thought. If this drama does not get better, I swear I will pull him out and we will just do the cyber schooling that's offered here. I'm not going to have him feeling like he's crap just because someone doesn't want to make time for him. If I'm going to be doing all the work, there is no point in the rushing around we do to get him to and from school anymore. I'm sick of it.
So now we wait. I don't know how long it will take for the call back. I think they are tired of my whining. I'm trying to be nice, but it's going to get ugly real soon.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
More doctor stuff
We finally have some answers on Kristopher and his recurring illnesses. First of all. He had to be tortured last week with blood work. Then I got to be tortured more by waiting a week for results. The doctor called this morning to say that everything is now within normal range and he actually appears to be a healthy child.
Monday we had a Methacholine Challenge done which determined he does have some form as asthma. The results are not back to the doctor to confirm that 100%, but the guy who did the test said based on everything he was seeing, and what Kristopher was telling him while the test was going on, it's definitely some form. If he had to guess, he'd say it's the cough variant that we've been tossing around since the spring. So I guess that will take a week till the doctor calls me back and tells me what we are going to do about that. Basically it means that it's only induced and bothered when he has a cold. Keep him healthier, and we can avoid some of this drama. I need some ideas on how to keep his immune system up. We do gummy vitamins so maybe that helps some, but his white cells were on the very bottom of the normal scale. I hope it's because he's still getting over that cold, but either way. Going to push harder to do things to boost it more so he can fight these colds off better before it ends up full blown lung infested issues.
The tech also told me that due to truck traffic, warehouses, etc in the area, the asthma diagnosis is majorly on the rise in my area. That could be why we didn't have these issues when he was little. We moved a year and half ago, and first place had some mold issues. That could trigger it as well. We did not test for it, but I'm pretty sure he has a mold allergy. He was very sick at that house. It is a lot better this year, but still not what I'm use to. In the past, a cold was a day of watery eyes, a day of snotting, then magically gone. While I sat back and suffered with the same thing myself, for a few weeks. I want to get him back to that point.
So, wait another week and we will find out for sure that the tech is right. It was an interesting test. And the tech was awesome with explaining everything we were seeing, and made it easy for him to follow and cooperate. It makes up for the hospital's crappy lab team we had.
Monday we had a Methacholine Challenge done which determined he does have some form as asthma. The results are not back to the doctor to confirm that 100%, but the guy who did the test said based on everything he was seeing, and what Kristopher was telling him while the test was going on, it's definitely some form. If he had to guess, he'd say it's the cough variant that we've been tossing around since the spring. So I guess that will take a week till the doctor calls me back and tells me what we are going to do about that. Basically it means that it's only induced and bothered when he has a cold. Keep him healthier, and we can avoid some of this drama. I need some ideas on how to keep his immune system up. We do gummy vitamins so maybe that helps some, but his white cells were on the very bottom of the normal scale. I hope it's because he's still getting over that cold, but either way. Going to push harder to do things to boost it more so he can fight these colds off better before it ends up full blown lung infested issues.
The tech also told me that due to truck traffic, warehouses, etc in the area, the asthma diagnosis is majorly on the rise in my area. That could be why we didn't have these issues when he was little. We moved a year and half ago, and first place had some mold issues. That could trigger it as well. We did not test for it, but I'm pretty sure he has a mold allergy. He was very sick at that house. It is a lot better this year, but still not what I'm use to. In the past, a cold was a day of watery eyes, a day of snotting, then magically gone. While I sat back and suffered with the same thing myself, for a few weeks. I want to get him back to that point.
So, wait another week and we will find out for sure that the tech is right. It was an interesting test. And the tech was awesome with explaining everything we were seeing, and made it easy for him to follow and cooperate. It makes up for the hospital's crappy lab team we had.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Blood work
For Kristopher this time. It was very traumatic for both of us. We went to the lab at the local hospital because that's what the doctor wanted. I figured ok, this can't be that bad. They say they use a butterfly needle, and it won't take long. We were taken back to the room at 7:05. We left the room at 7:40. He didn't fight them, sat still and listen so good. I however, wanted to fight someone. First of all. They acted totally stupid. It took 2 people to figure it out. The first attempt ended in pulling out and retrying. As soon as they started, they got half a tube and burst the vein. Tried again right beside it and did the same thing. So, they said they were going to have to switch arms. For a total of 6 tubes, it took 15 mins in the other arm. They claim he was partially dehyrdated and lectured me on how important it is for him to drink. Uh, the kid drinks like a fish so I don't want these freaking lectures. They didn't hold the needle very good, and it kept moving each time they switched tubes. Poor kid sat there crying silently and whispering ouch...ouch...ouch... over and over. So after 15 mins of that final needle, they got what they needed and then said "see, that wasn't bad at all was it buddy?" And "see mom, not bad at all!" Uh. Yeah. Right. I've had way more than my share of blood draws to know that these people were total morons. The needle was bigger than what my clinic uses on me. No one held it in place proper, so he felt every time the tech moved. It should not have been that bad for him. Freaking morons. I hope they got what they need. If he has to go back again, I'll go an hour out of my way and get him to the hospital where my doctor's office is at. I may even beg one of my nurses to help him because this was uncalled for.
At least when it was over, he was happy and said it no longer hurt. But he kept telling me how he felt it pulling and pinching his arm everytime the lady moved her hand. And he has marks from the "helper" holding him so he didn't move. What a way to start the morning. I'm in a horrible mood now.
His reward was a donut and special toy. I was going to let him stay home today, but he was ready to go back to school. I hope he has a good day.
At least when it was over, he was happy and said it no longer hurt. But he kept telling me how he felt it pulling and pinching his arm everytime the lady moved her hand. And he has marks from the "helper" holding him so he didn't move. What a way to start the morning. I'm in a horrible mood now.
His reward was a donut and special toy. I was going to let him stay home today, but he was ready to go back to school. I hope he has a good day.
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