This cycle is definitely a waiting cycle. I just found out that they would like to skip it for sure and wait till I'm cleared by the surgeon, and "Just in case it's the old fashion way of doing things" (thanks for jinxing me?!). So, now that I don't have too much of a choice in it, I'm ok. Maybe I'll luck out and things will happen on it's own.
I will be going back for blood work on April 20th (day 21) for a progesterone draw. If nothing is going on we will get things started for round 2. I hope that April goes really fast.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Day 1
It's here. For sure. I was woke up several times last night with pretty bad cramping. I do not like "real" periods AT ALL!! As soon as I got up this morning, hello gross. Sorry.
In happier news, at least I responded to the meds. We know it will work, and we just wait. Who knows, maybe the little bit of weight loss will snap me into ovulation on my own this waiting cycle. I'm still thinking that it was around day 13-14 that I ovulated. Possibly even as late as 15 but by then all the signs were basically gone. And our timing shortly after was pretty sucky since I assumed that things were already done. Next time there will not be any stopping until I got that word from the blood work.
If they can work me in for surgery Friday, I'm told there won't be a need to skip this month out. I don't know the chances of the chances of that, but it would be very cool. Either way I'm ok and still believe things happen for a reason, even if I don't understand the reason right now......
Yesterday was an extremely emotional crazy day. And I went to bed at 8pm. I just felt like total crap and after a few good cries and a somewhat ok night of sleep, I'm alright. I just want this freaking period to end asap. Wonder how long a "real period" will last for me....
In happier news, at least I responded to the meds. We know it will work, and we just wait. Who knows, maybe the little bit of weight loss will snap me into ovulation on my own this waiting cycle. I'm still thinking that it was around day 13-14 that I ovulated. Possibly even as late as 15 but by then all the signs were basically gone. And our timing shortly after was pretty sucky since I assumed that things were already done. Next time there will not be any stopping until I got that word from the blood work.
If they can work me in for surgery Friday, I'm told there won't be a need to skip this month out. I don't know the chances of the chances of that, but it would be very cool. Either way I'm ok and still believe things happen for a reason, even if I don't understand the reason right now......
Yesterday was an extremely emotional crazy day. And I went to bed at 8pm. I just felt like total crap and after a few good cries and a somewhat ok night of sleep, I'm alright. I just want this freaking period to end asap. Wonder how long a "real period" will last for me....
Monday, March 30, 2009
I'm not happy
I'll be taking a break apparently. I'm not happy about that, because it feels like we're off to a really good start with the study, and now it will be like May until we start trying again. I'm very frustrated by this. The spotting is a little more now, so I know this cycle is over. I haven't heard back yet from the nurse, but I did hear back from the surgeon and he convinced me to just get it over with. Nothing is set in stone yet, but he thinks he will be able to get me set up for next Tuesday. Possibly sooner but he's not sure how he could rearrange things to make that happen. Sooner would be better but who knows. IF and that's a big IF there, we could get it done Thursday or Friday, I'd not have to skip a cycle. He says it would be perfectly fine to continue as planned so he's going to see what he can do. Everything crossed right now that it's somehow possible.
I go for my pre-op appt on the 1st. They are squeezing me in so I'll probably wait a while she said, but whatever gets me in. It all sucks though. I'm terrified of the freaking surgery idea, I'm pissed that I have to wait, and I'm a total emotional mess today. I hate the mind games that cycles play! I just want for it to be evening and I'm sure things will be better once I talk to my husband and he can calm the craziness going on in my mind.
So at this point, I'm waiting for real flow to start. I'm waiting on the nurse to get back to me on what they are going to do. I'm waiting to find out if I for sure have a babysitter for whenever the surgery is scheduled. And, I have a gigantic list of things that must be done before surgery would happen.
Oh, and the surgeon told me that normally the people who have a lot of issues after surgery, are the ones who've had a lot of issues beforehand too. So, the fact that I've been doing pretty good, he thinks that means I'll do just fine after. I really hope so....
I guess I better get this list of stuff started. Otherwise it will be a wonderful disaster next week after this is done.
I go for my pre-op appt on the 1st. They are squeezing me in so I'll probably wait a while she said, but whatever gets me in. It all sucks though. I'm terrified of the freaking surgery idea, I'm pissed that I have to wait, and I'm a total emotional mess today. I hate the mind games that cycles play! I just want for it to be evening and I'm sure things will be better once I talk to my husband and he can calm the craziness going on in my mind.
So at this point, I'm waiting for real flow to start. I'm waiting on the nurse to get back to me on what they are going to do. I'm waiting to find out if I for sure have a babysitter for whenever the surgery is scheduled. And, I have a gigantic list of things that must be done before surgery would happen.
Oh, and the surgeon told me that normally the people who have a lot of issues after surgery, are the ones who've had a lot of issues beforehand too. So, the fact that I've been doing pretty good, he thinks that means I'll do just fine after. I really hope so....
I guess I better get this list of stuff started. Otherwise it will be a wonderful disaster next week after this is done.
Losing hope
I tested this morning. It was negative. And now, a little bit ago, I had a weird gush of cm, and it was very slightly blood tinged. It was very barely there, but enough that I'm not hopeful anymore. For me, spotting always means period. I'm going to call the surgeon a little later and see if they want to just add me to the schedule, and if somehow this changes, then I'll just cancel last minute.
I do not want to do the surgery right now. I feel fine since a few days after the attack, and I can eat whatever. I'm not looking forward to the wonderful stuff that is going to come with no gall bladder.
I just don't understand things this time. If it's going to come, I wish it would just start already because at this point, it's rude to keep taking longer. It's day 31. Come on already.
I do not want to do the surgery right now. I feel fine since a few days after the attack, and I can eat whatever. I'm not looking forward to the wonderful stuff that is going to come with no gall bladder.
I just don't understand things this time. If it's going to come, I wish it would just start already because at this point, it's rude to keep taking longer. It's day 31. Come on already.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thinking a lot
My mind is at it again. Today is day 30. No clue what to think, but no period yet, no spotting, not even a hint of it coming. It's weird. I want to test, but do not want to see another negative. So I'll wait.
I have possible symptoms, but I'm not thinking too much into it. I'm not sure how long I'll wait to test again. Maybe mid week. By then, I really should have something going on. If I ovulated on day 13, then it would make it 17dpo. If it was day 14, it would be 16dpo. Something SHOULD be happening by now right?! I know it could not be any later than day 14 because all the twinges and pains were 12-13 and cm was starting to disappear on day 14.
In other news, this bunny is completely psycho. As soon as we let her out, she zips around in circles and does little bronco flips. It can last for hours. I try to put her back in her cage every hour-hour and half so she gets a chance to figure out the litter thing. She flipped her litter all over and is starting to use it, out of the box. At least it's a start. She poops everywhere, but at least is getting the hang of peeing in the litter. She has not peed out of her cage yet. She still doesn't like to be held but will tolerate being petted while sitting beside us. And Zoey is warming up to her. She stares and watches her little circus, and as soon as bunny comes over and sniffs at her, she acts scared and tries to escape. Apparently a 2lb bunny is pretty scary to the 45lb puppy. haha
I have possible symptoms, but I'm not thinking too much into it. I'm not sure how long I'll wait to test again. Maybe mid week. By then, I really should have something going on. If I ovulated on day 13, then it would make it 17dpo. If it was day 14, it would be 16dpo. Something SHOULD be happening by now right?! I know it could not be any later than day 14 because all the twinges and pains were 12-13 and cm was starting to disappear on day 14.
In other news, this bunny is completely psycho. As soon as we let her out, she zips around in circles and does little bronco flips. It can last for hours. I try to put her back in her cage every hour-hour and half so she gets a chance to figure out the litter thing. She flipped her litter all over and is starting to use it, out of the box. At least it's a start. She poops everywhere, but at least is getting the hang of peeing in the litter. She has not peed out of her cage yet. She still doesn't like to be held but will tolerate being petted while sitting beside us. And Zoey is warming up to her. She stares and watches her little circus, and as soon as bunny comes over and sniffs at her, she acts scared and tries to escape. Apparently a 2lb bunny is pretty scary to the 45lb puppy. haha
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