I took a little break, but now I think I'm ready to be back and update on everything going on here.
We met new kids earlier in the month and within an hour I felt a connection to these kids and just knew that they were the ones for our family. We had them again last weekend and still went really well and bond just got stronger. They are going to be moving in next week, and by summer will hopefully be able to be legally ours. Adopted! To protect the privacy of all that and since everything is public, I'm going to keep details kind of private for now. We are really excited though to have this waiting part of this journey over.
I am officially done babysitting. It's something that has been coming for quite some time. I finally have had enough and it was getting to be too much on K. He's been having some struggles and the age difference was just getting to be too big of an issue. Yesterday was our last day and I feel at peace about it. And clearly when the kids move in and I have all 3 of my own involved in things, there would not be time to make babysitting work out with the hours it was. I want to be more available for my family and for evenings to be less crazy.
That's it for now. Just a short update. School is dismissing early today for snow that is not even here yet. Yay!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Thursday, December 27, 2012
After Christmas Craziness
On the 20th, our foster kids left. They moved to be with grandparents, so I guess it was for the best for them. We had given our 30 day notice to the county earlier in the week due to some extreme behaviors from the older 2, and the lack of support and therapy from the county. So, on court day, the judge granted custody to the grandparents, and after an initial few weeks of being monitored by the county, they will be done with CYS. The parents think they did good by ok'ing custody to grandma, but in the long haul of it, they will find it will be so much harder to get them back from her as it would have been from the system. But anyway, we're moving on.
Saturday I got hit by a bad case of the stomach flu. Or food poisoning. Not sure which, but I vomited too many times to keep track from Saturday night till Sunday, then slept all day Sunday and all Sunday night into Monday. I finally ate real food on Christmas day, and still feel a little bit weak and dizzy at times. Mental games are making me question what was the cause of it all because it was strictly the vomit side of things, and no real fever. And my cycles are so screwed up lately and I know I totally skipped November and December so far. But I'm fairly certain that nothing is possible. Just those 10+ years of trying that plays mind games when I have issues like this.
Christmas was nice. Really quiet compared to how the past month had been for us, but it was nice. We made it way more low key and not so over spent this year, mostly because I had no time to shop till the very last week. He didn't notice the lesser amount of gifts, and was very excited over what he did get. He still very much believes in Santa so it was cool to still see the magic side of things on Christmas eve and his rush to get sleep. And then the suspense of hearing him waking up and peaking at 3am. Then sighing loudly till we finally gave in at around 4:15-4:30ish because we had told him he had to sleep till 5. We did give in early, and then ended up sending his whiney but back to bed at 6:30 because he was so emotional and over tired still. After a little nap, we were back up at 8:30 and enjoyed the rest of the day.
The dogs got lots of chewy bones and toys they can't kill so easily and have been having a blast ever since.
And our tree. It has to come down asap. On Friday I had my babysitting kids come back, and the little one likes to beat the tree and watch stuff fall. A few little tiny branches came lose, and the dogs got them before I really noticed. Then they developed a taste for pine. And ever since, they will sneak a branch when I'm not looking or in the room, and chew for a while. The tree now looks pathetic so it will be coming down today.
A few pics, then I'm off to pack up Christmas. Sad to see it go so fast, but it's over now, and time to move on.
Saturday I got hit by a bad case of the stomach flu. Or food poisoning. Not sure which, but I vomited too many times to keep track from Saturday night till Sunday, then slept all day Sunday and all Sunday night into Monday. I finally ate real food on Christmas day, and still feel a little bit weak and dizzy at times. Mental games are making me question what was the cause of it all because it was strictly the vomit side of things, and no real fever. And my cycles are so screwed up lately and I know I totally skipped November and December so far. But I'm fairly certain that nothing is possible. Just those 10+ years of trying that plays mind games when I have issues like this.
Christmas was nice. Really quiet compared to how the past month had been for us, but it was nice. We made it way more low key and not so over spent this year, mostly because I had no time to shop till the very last week. He didn't notice the lesser amount of gifts, and was very excited over what he did get. He still very much believes in Santa so it was cool to still see the magic side of things on Christmas eve and his rush to get sleep. And then the suspense of hearing him waking up and peaking at 3am. Then sighing loudly till we finally gave in at around 4:15-4:30ish because we had told him he had to sleep till 5. We did give in early, and then ended up sending his whiney but back to bed at 6:30 because he was so emotional and over tired still. After a little nap, we were back up at 8:30 and enjoyed the rest of the day.
The dogs got lots of chewy bones and toys they can't kill so easily and have been having a blast ever since.
And our tree. It has to come down asap. On Friday I had my babysitting kids come back, and the little one likes to beat the tree and watch stuff fall. A few little tiny branches came lose, and the dogs got them before I really noticed. Then they developed a taste for pine. And ever since, they will sneak a branch when I'm not looking or in the room, and chew for a while. The tree now looks pathetic so it will be coming down today.
A few pics, then I'm off to pack up Christmas. Sad to see it go so fast, but it's over now, and time to move on.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
We've been busy
We finally got placed with kids. November 19th, we got a sibling group of 3. Now 7 year old boy (birthday was last week), 5 year old girl, and a as of today, little over 3 week old boy. So life has been so crazy busy. Things are not going so great. The parents of the children knew they were coming into care, and told the older 2 that foster care and county agency is very bad and mean, and that we will hurt them and not ever let them go back, but if they fight us and do not listen, that they will get to go back sooner because no one wants to deal with bad behavior. So, guess what they have done? Fight. Refuse to trust. Threatened to run away. Total craziness. After 10 days, we had a court hearing to determine length of their stay, requirements to get them back, etc. At that point, we made the judge aware of the struggles and why, and the parents were told they had to tell the kids that they were wrong, and see if that helped with the listening. It did with the girl, but the boy has some serious behavior issues. We're at our witts end here and are actually waiting on info on if they can even remain as a group. He has displayed so many extreme behaviors that he needs specialized care and some big time therapy. The ultimate goal is that their grandma is going to get approval and take them all into her care once all the legal stuff is in order. At this point, with the issues we've experienced, they are not going to move too quickly. Maybe the older 2 first, therapy and check in's and then baby can go. We don't know anything yet. I've learned that the system is even more screwed up than I thought earlier.
The baby is doing awesome. He is very tiny, and was a result of not proper care during pregnancy and then complications at the end. I forget the term they used, but basically he was better out in the world than in, and even though he was born at 39 weeks, he was only 4lbs 6ozs. At his 2 week check up, he is up to 5lb 2ozs. Itty bitty though. He's only 17 inches long. We just now are using newborn diapers and clothes, and they still swallow him. He's been a pretty awesome little guy. Sleeps great, has one crying spell in the evenings when it's the craziest around here and as long as he's held and snuggling, he's happy as can be. I even got a few tiny smiles yesterday while talking to him. He's definitely becoming more alert and having longer awake times. It's going to be really hard to see him go, but at the same time, maybe not as hard as if it was just him. I know that he needs to be with the rest of his family, and the issues we've had with the older ones may make them leaving not so difficult.
It's all part of the learning experience. I now know that we need to stick to our plan of no boys close in age to K. We need to re-evaluate if we want emergency placements, or if we need to meet and visit several times first. We know we can handle the emotional needs of the 5 yr old, and definitely can handle the baby, so it's at least given us some helpful info. And whether they realize it now or not, I know they will look back when they are older and remember their stay here as a good experience in a very hard time of their childhoods.
And the baby has definitely made me reconsider being totally past this stage. All it took was one in the home 24/7 and not babysitting to realize it isn't as bad as the last 2 I've babysat.
So that's the quick update. Off for baby snuggle time before getting the boys from school. Living it up while he's here. :)
The baby is doing awesome. He is very tiny, and was a result of not proper care during pregnancy and then complications at the end. I forget the term they used, but basically he was better out in the world than in, and even though he was born at 39 weeks, he was only 4lbs 6ozs. At his 2 week check up, he is up to 5lb 2ozs. Itty bitty though. He's only 17 inches long. We just now are using newborn diapers and clothes, and they still swallow him. He's been a pretty awesome little guy. Sleeps great, has one crying spell in the evenings when it's the craziest around here and as long as he's held and snuggling, he's happy as can be. I even got a few tiny smiles yesterday while talking to him. He's definitely becoming more alert and having longer awake times. It's going to be really hard to see him go, but at the same time, maybe not as hard as if it was just him. I know that he needs to be with the rest of his family, and the issues we've had with the older ones may make them leaving not so difficult.
It's all part of the learning experience. I now know that we need to stick to our plan of no boys close in age to K. We need to re-evaluate if we want emergency placements, or if we need to meet and visit several times first. We know we can handle the emotional needs of the 5 yr old, and definitely can handle the baby, so it's at least given us some helpful info. And whether they realize it now or not, I know they will look back when they are older and remember their stay here as a good experience in a very hard time of their childhoods.
And the baby has definitely made me reconsider being totally past this stage. All it took was one in the home 24/7 and not babysitting to realize it isn't as bad as the last 2 I've babysat.
So that's the quick update. Off for baby snuggle time before getting the boys from school. Living it up while he's here. :)
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Updates
I got an email from a reader friend asking for updates on the foster process. We're still waiting again. We had several calls in September, nothing at all in October, and now a few this month. None of the recent cases are emergency placement, and court dates are still a few weeks out. Kind of just wait and see, but assume it's not going to work out for either of the cases. That's our experience on the non rush cases. I hate waiting, but during this wait we've been working in therapy on better preparing Kristopher for the changes that can happen, and at least with our 2 short stays this summer, he knows a little of what to expect. His therapist has given me a lot of good ideas on how to explain things to him to help him better handle behavior issues we may have. The biggest issue I had over the summer placement was him not wanting to interact with the kids much due to behavior issues. They were a bit wild, but they did respond well to time outs. Towards the end it was getting a lot better but he didn't get enough time with them to see that change. I think he understands it better now, and is more open to helping them overcome the changes in rules and homes.
I've also realized that my babysitting schedule was simply not working for us, and have gone to part time. My ultimate goal at this point will be to end that with a longer term placement, and go to just back up help with babysitting. A big part of the reason that the summer placement did not work out was because I had too many of my own to schedule appts for, and no way to include the babysitting kids. I was stranded, and the demands of a child in the system does not mix well with stranded. So now, we are much better able to handle another situation like that one. I still have a feeling that we will have placement before the end of the year, and it sort of scares me because my gut feeling is that it will be days before Christmas. And I'll be having to rush around to find some things so they don't feel left out or skipped over.
Which brings me to that subject. I can not believe that Christmas is coming again so quickly. We have spoiled this kid for years with way too much crap that truly is not needed. It's exciting for a week or 2, then I'd say 75% of it gets shoved in the toybox and forgotten about. So, this year, I'm cutting back. I usually do black friday shopping and a lot of what I'd get him was impulse purchases because of the savings. I'm not going out black friday this year. What I've done this year so far has been to go out and just browse around stores with him and making mental notes of what he really stops and oohhs and ahhhs over. And if he does it the next time we look, it rates high on the list. The biggest idea I have so far is I'd like to go to Michaels or AC Moore and get a bunch of art supplies. He's kind of outgrowing the crayon and crayola stage, and I'd like to get him paint and better longer lasting supplies. And some sketch books. Create a little art box or something cute that it can be kept in and kept safe and I think it will be a big hit. I also have a list of books that I've noticed him really checking out. In one way he is getting easier, because he's into more of hands on stuff, less toys, but at the same time, he's getting into the more expensive and complicated age. If I wouldn't have done this browsing thing with him, he would be a pretty complicated kid to buy for.
He started OT a week ago, and yesterday was his 2nd session. I am starting to like it. They have been giving me some print offs of things we can work with at home, and we have bought some of the "tools" they use with him so we can practice at home. He will be going for at least 3 months, and then will have another assessment to see if he needs longer. I can see it taking that whole 3 months because he's very off on coordination. We took the bike to yesterday's appt and they worked with him on that some. He can pedal if he has a head start but is so dangerous that I can not trust to take him out of our yard. He watches his feet and hands instead of in front of him, and then panics when it's time to stop and runs into whatever is in his path. It's pretty scary. So, they have him starting way back at the beginning. Not allowed to use the pedals till he can "coast" while looking up and taking in what's around him, not watching his feet.
One thing I have noticed is that he gets highly upset with himself (and everyone helping him) when he gets to something that is challenging to him. He's thrown some good fits for them, throwing the ball down, or the shoe for shoe tying...and even pushed the bike away yesterday when he got mad. He just gives up. They are awesome with handling those fits, where I am not. So that helps me a lot. They help him through that harder stuff, and then I just push him to keep practicing at home after he knows they are not taking no or I quit as an answer. So they get to be the bad guys.
He doesn't totally hate it though. They include enough fun activities that he still likes to go for that. We get a 2 week break now due to Thanksgiving.
Well, enough for the updates today. Will try harder for at least a weekly update...
I've also realized that my babysitting schedule was simply not working for us, and have gone to part time. My ultimate goal at this point will be to end that with a longer term placement, and go to just back up help with babysitting. A big part of the reason that the summer placement did not work out was because I had too many of my own to schedule appts for, and no way to include the babysitting kids. I was stranded, and the demands of a child in the system does not mix well with stranded. So now, we are much better able to handle another situation like that one. I still have a feeling that we will have placement before the end of the year, and it sort of scares me because my gut feeling is that it will be days before Christmas. And I'll be having to rush around to find some things so they don't feel left out or skipped over.
Which brings me to that subject. I can not believe that Christmas is coming again so quickly. We have spoiled this kid for years with way too much crap that truly is not needed. It's exciting for a week or 2, then I'd say 75% of it gets shoved in the toybox and forgotten about. So, this year, I'm cutting back. I usually do black friday shopping and a lot of what I'd get him was impulse purchases because of the savings. I'm not going out black friday this year. What I've done this year so far has been to go out and just browse around stores with him and making mental notes of what he really stops and oohhs and ahhhs over. And if he does it the next time we look, it rates high on the list. The biggest idea I have so far is I'd like to go to Michaels or AC Moore and get a bunch of art supplies. He's kind of outgrowing the crayon and crayola stage, and I'd like to get him paint and better longer lasting supplies. And some sketch books. Create a little art box or something cute that it can be kept in and kept safe and I think it will be a big hit. I also have a list of books that I've noticed him really checking out. In one way he is getting easier, because he's into more of hands on stuff, less toys, but at the same time, he's getting into the more expensive and complicated age. If I wouldn't have done this browsing thing with him, he would be a pretty complicated kid to buy for.
He started OT a week ago, and yesterday was his 2nd session. I am starting to like it. They have been giving me some print offs of things we can work with at home, and we have bought some of the "tools" they use with him so we can practice at home. He will be going for at least 3 months, and then will have another assessment to see if he needs longer. I can see it taking that whole 3 months because he's very off on coordination. We took the bike to yesterday's appt and they worked with him on that some. He can pedal if he has a head start but is so dangerous that I can not trust to take him out of our yard. He watches his feet and hands instead of in front of him, and then panics when it's time to stop and runs into whatever is in his path. It's pretty scary. So, they have him starting way back at the beginning. Not allowed to use the pedals till he can "coast" while looking up and taking in what's around him, not watching his feet.
One thing I have noticed is that he gets highly upset with himself (and everyone helping him) when he gets to something that is challenging to him. He's thrown some good fits for them, throwing the ball down, or the shoe for shoe tying...and even pushed the bike away yesterday when he got mad. He just gives up. They are awesome with handling those fits, where I am not. So that helps me a lot. They help him through that harder stuff, and then I just push him to keep practicing at home after he knows they are not taking no or I quit as an answer. So they get to be the bad guys.
He doesn't totally hate it though. They include enough fun activities that he still likes to go for that. We get a 2 week break now due to Thanksgiving.
Well, enough for the updates today. Will try harder for at least a weekly update...
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Halloween, a day late
Happy Halloween! We're a day late.....OR better yet, 364 days early!
Since Roxie's costume is so hard to see in the first photo, here's just Roxie...
Bat Princess
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