We finally got placed with kids. November 19th, we got a sibling group of 3. Now 7 year old boy (birthday was last week), 5 year old girl, and a as of today, little over 3 week old boy. So life has been so crazy busy. Things are not going so great. The parents of the children knew they were coming into care, and told the older 2 that foster care and county agency is very bad and mean, and that we will hurt them and not ever let them go back, but if they fight us and do not listen, that they will get to go back sooner because no one wants to deal with bad behavior. So, guess what they have done? Fight. Refuse to trust. Threatened to run away. Total craziness. After 10 days, we had a court hearing to determine length of their stay, requirements to get them back, etc. At that point, we made the judge aware of the struggles and why, and the parents were told they had to tell the kids that they were wrong, and see if that helped with the listening. It did with the girl, but the boy has some serious behavior issues. We're at our witts end here and are actually waiting on info on if they can even remain as a group. He has displayed so many extreme behaviors that he needs specialized care and some big time therapy. The ultimate goal is that their grandma is going to get approval and take them all into her care once all the legal stuff is in order. At this point, with the issues we've experienced, they are not going to move too quickly. Maybe the older 2 first, therapy and check in's and then baby can go. We don't know anything yet. I've learned that the system is even more screwed up than I thought earlier.
The baby is doing awesome. He is very tiny, and was a result of not proper care during pregnancy and then complications at the end. I forget the term they used, but basically he was better out in the world than in, and even though he was born at 39 weeks, he was only 4lbs 6ozs. At his 2 week check up, he is up to 5lb 2ozs. Itty bitty though. He's only 17 inches long. We just now are using newborn diapers and clothes, and they still swallow him. He's been a pretty awesome little guy. Sleeps great, has one crying spell in the evenings when it's the craziest around here and as long as he's held and snuggling, he's happy as can be. I even got a few tiny smiles yesterday while talking to him. He's definitely becoming more alert and having longer awake times. It's going to be really hard to see him go, but at the same time, maybe not as hard as if it was just him. I know that he needs to be with the rest of his family, and the issues we've had with the older ones may make them leaving not so difficult.
It's all part of the learning experience. I now know that we need to stick to our plan of no boys close in age to K. We need to re-evaluate if we want emergency placements, or if we need to meet and visit several times first. We know we can handle the emotional needs of the 5 yr old, and definitely can handle the baby, so it's at least given us some helpful info. And whether they realize it now or not, I know they will look back when they are older and remember their stay here as a good experience in a very hard time of their childhoods.
And the baby has definitely made me reconsider being totally past this stage. All it took was one in the home 24/7 and not babysitting to realize it isn't as bad as the last 2 I've babysat.
So that's the quick update. Off for baby snuggle time before getting the boys from school. Living it up while he's here. :)
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