We had our meeting on Monday and are still waiting to find out if it's a for sure thing. We live 2 hours from them, and the adult sister wants to keep in contact. She is not 100% on board because of how far we are, and she does not drive much.
Yesterday we discussed our view and our options with the agency, and a contact order was sent to the other county and to be presented to the sister. If she accepts our terms, it's just a few more weeks of waiting till we can get them here.
The kids....
We feel that their "issues" are way within what we can handle, and since we support each other, neither of us should become too overwhelmed. A lot of those said issues appear to be all because of their lifestyle and lack of proper parenting. Obviously we will have an adjustment period, but I'm going to keep the therapy schedule going the way we need it to, and if we need more, that's why I'm a stay at home mother. I am available to do whatever it takes.
We took Kristopher along, and all 3 got along amazingly. The girls are advanced, and that helps a lot for him to have someone to play with that can relate instead of so much babyish behavior that he sees day to day with me babysitting. All 3 were upset when our 2 hour meeting had ended.
Based on the meeting, and reading the psych reports on each child, I feel that I can do this and am 100% committed to long term with them. They are high chance of this being an adoptive case after a year of good progress. This is what we want and would be working to get. The only set back in the picture is the involvement of the older sister, who wants to keep in contact. Which I understand, and we are willing to some extent, but not to the frequency of what she is asking.
Next meeting will be on the 1st, where we've invited them to come up for a cookout, to see our home, and for me to take them on a mini tour of the area (all to make the sister comfortable) and they will get to see the school they would be going to. After that, Aug. 3rd the lawyers meet to decide. School starts on August 27th, so we're looking to get them here, and semi settled into a new routine with 2-3 weeks to spare before school starts. I really really reallllly want this case to work out. I feel very strongly about this, and feel this is the reason we were brought forward to do this whole process. And the fact we've invested the last pretty much month into planning and trying to get meetings in order, I hope that it is a good sign. As usual, the wait just sucks. I do not do well with this waiting game. I don't know how much I can plan for, or prepare without rushing around all crazy when they do get here. I did sneak a few girly clothes in, and hope that they get to use them. If not, and we don't end up with girly placement later, I can pass the stuff down to the one I babysit, so it's not all a waste. I just really hope that it all works out and we can get them. I'm constantly thinking and hoping that the sister realizes it's in the best interest, and says she's ok with this.....
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Finally a meeting
This whole process has been crazy. It seems that what we're dealing with is not the typical case. By now, I should be use to that. Nothing about any of this family is "typical case".
Monday we meet with the girls and their older sister who is currently taking care of them. If the meeting goes well, next week will be about planning a move. Sooner the better from what I am told.
So at least we have a meeting planned. It's one step forward.
Monday we meet with the girls and their older sister who is currently taking care of them. If the meeting goes well, next week will be about planning a move. Sooner the better from what I am told.
So at least we have a meeting planned. It's one step forward.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Waiting...to wait some more
I should be use to this. Its a very trying time. Waiting, just to wait some more. We're still on hold with the girls. Court is probably being delayed again while we work out visitation plans, and all the what ifs. We definitely want to meet them first, and their caseworkers and therapists want the same so that this can be an easier transition for everyone. I understand the reasoning, but it's so hard to plan anything at this point. We can't even make weekend plans yet because we don't know if they will come, have a really bad adjustment period and not be able to go out and do some of our plans.
I believe everything happens for a reason, and I'm trying to remind myself that there IS a reason this is happening, but I'm so impatient.
I also miss our respite girl. I keep thinking about her and how her life is going to change yet again. The family she is placed with, is only a short term place. I feel bad for her because she has bonded already. I wish I could help but I am pretty sure her needs are way out of my area of help.
I'm mixed on what I should do about babysitting as well. We could have scheduled to go see the girls tomorrow, but babysitting kind of screwed that up. Tuesday's are not really possible to find back up help. Not on a few hours notice anyway. And I also do not have a sitter for my own tomorrow, so we had to say it wasn't an option. If I do get this placement, when school starts up I'm going to need to find other help for either helping get mine to school, or to sit here while I pick mine up. I am trying to decide if the effort is worth it. I'll miss them, but it's been stressful lately. I also have issues with being home alone for long periods of time. The first week or 2 of it would be ok, but I can only clean so much before I'm just sitting here bored. I need to get some hobbies again.
And on another interesting note. My period was here June 5th. About 11 days later, I swear I had ovulation signs. I was really sure it was happening, and I had planned to just avoid during that time, but we didn't. I have not started yet. I highly doubt I could possibly be pregnant, but there is always that little voice in my head that makes me question being late. I will chalk my possible obsession type symptoms up to the heat and stress. I figured if I mention it, maybe it will start like it has all those other times. If not, I might break down and buy a test or 2 this weekend. Or maybe wait another week. I really doubt I'm late for any real reason other than stress and typical pcos games.
I will try to sleep now. Hopefully I get some answers with tomorrow's update phone calls.....
I believe everything happens for a reason, and I'm trying to remind myself that there IS a reason this is happening, but I'm so impatient.
I also miss our respite girl. I keep thinking about her and how her life is going to change yet again. The family she is placed with, is only a short term place. I feel bad for her because she has bonded already. I wish I could help but I am pretty sure her needs are way out of my area of help.
I'm mixed on what I should do about babysitting as well. We could have scheduled to go see the girls tomorrow, but babysitting kind of screwed that up. Tuesday's are not really possible to find back up help. Not on a few hours notice anyway. And I also do not have a sitter for my own tomorrow, so we had to say it wasn't an option. If I do get this placement, when school starts up I'm going to need to find other help for either helping get mine to school, or to sit here while I pick mine up. I am trying to decide if the effort is worth it. I'll miss them, but it's been stressful lately. I also have issues with being home alone for long periods of time. The first week or 2 of it would be ok, but I can only clean so much before I'm just sitting here bored. I need to get some hobbies again.
And on another interesting note. My period was here June 5th. About 11 days later, I swear I had ovulation signs. I was really sure it was happening, and I had planned to just avoid during that time, but we didn't. I have not started yet. I highly doubt I could possibly be pregnant, but there is always that little voice in my head that makes me question being late. I will chalk my possible obsession type symptoms up to the heat and stress. I figured if I mention it, maybe it will start like it has all those other times. If not, I might break down and buy a test or 2 this weekend. Or maybe wait another week. I really doubt I'm late for any real reason other than stress and typical pcos games.
I will try to sleep now. Hopefully I get some answers with tomorrow's update phone calls.....
Thursday, July 12, 2012
How to screw up...
Any potential placements? I know I know! Lets blog about it!
I've determined that if I blog about a possible case that we will get, it will not happen. Our meeting tonight is canceled because the kids older sister, who currently has custody, is uneasy about how far away they will be. We live 2 hrs away. So, no news or updates till Monday at some point. It sounds like this is not going to work out.....
I've determined that if I blog about a possible case that we will get, it will not happen. Our meeting tonight is canceled because the kids older sister, who currently has custody, is uneasy about how far away they will be. We live 2 hrs away. So, no news or updates till Monday at some point. It sounds like this is not going to work out.....
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
What's been going on here
Wow! Summer is really flying by again.
Last Monday we got our first placement. She's short term respite care. She's 14 with some big delays and MR diagnosis so it's been a whole new experience. We really were not prepared enough for this, and were not given enough info which has made it all a lot harder. She is definitely more at the mind set of a 5 yr old. She will sit and play with the kids, loves to do puzzles and to color. She has not bonded with me in any way, and gets very nervous when I try to include her in what I'm doing, or try to talk to her. It's been getting a little bit better, but it's pretty frustrating. She has a lot of nervous habits that start when she is stressed or upset, and always gets that way when I try to interact. But yet, she will follow me everywhere as I try to get stuff done. She has been overwhelming to the little kids, but her and Kristopher have hit it off pretty well. And she is very quickly attached to my husband. Also is not thrilled with the dogs, but has started to come around and occasionally will play with them.
Our time was only for 10 days, so tomorrow morning she will be going back to her regular foster family. I can honestly say that I'm ready for that to happen, and the age and needs are a little more than I was prepared to deal with.
In the time that she has been with us, I have had to have "the talk" with her. No one has ever really helped her to understand her period, and they have said she is pretty irregular. Luckily for her, I have lots of experience with that stuff. So one evening as she kindly announced to everyone (we had my parents over for dinner) that her "friend" was coming and she needs to put on a pad just in case it's early, I told her we will talk about it in private. I had a little chat about how that should be a little more private, but not to be embarrassed about it, and that she can talk to people if she needs to and just explained that usually that should be a between girls type of subject. And that I would be happy to answer any questions as long as it's in private, meaning not in front of Kristopher or a bunch of guests. We did have the talk later, and she said that her foster mom said that she should prepare for it to arrive on the 8th, but has yet to show up as far as I'm being told. I am actually hoping at this point that it holds off till she's home because I'm kinda scared going from one child, who is a boy, to all of a sudden dealing with periods in a week!
We also had an experience with braces. She has a habit of chewing her fingers, and picking at the braces. One evening she was back reading and came out upset saying she broke a wire. Of course, it was on the weekend, and so late that no way we could get somewhere to have it fixed that night. I got to experience calling the on call person with the agency, and then spent most of Monday morning trying to locate where she goes, how to handle this, and finally got an afternoon appt. To all of our surprise, they decided to just remove the braces that day. She was beyond excited.
So lots of changes and experiences in the past 9 days, and such a learning experience for us.
Tomorrow morning she goes home, and then tomorrow evening we meet with another set of kids. They think that they've found "our" kids and we will have long term, potential adoption placement!! They are 2 girls, ages 6 and going on 8. Mixed race, mild behavior issues and in therapy due to being in the system for a while. I probably shouldn't go into their history on here, publicly, but I will just say that this could work out that if placement goes well, by this point next year we may be talking adoption instead of fostering. They have to be with us a minimum of 6 months before they will look into that. Tomorrow night we will be meeting with their therapists, caseworkers and the girls themselves, to see how we click and if it's a situation that could work for us. I am getting pretty excited, but crazy nervous about all this. If we decide it's what we want to do, we're expected to appear before the judge at their court hearing next Wednesday, and if the judge agrees to the removal and placement with us, we will come home as a family of 5. (Girls are in the care of older sister at the moment, and the sister is voluntarily giving them up because she's too young to do all this on her own.)
And to end this long novel, I'll add that Kristopher has adjusted amazingly to this craziness at the moment and his therapist was very pleased with his progress at his appt this morning. She said he's a lot more positive and confident and she feels we have done an awesome job with preparing him and helping him adjust to the changes. And he absolutely loves having someone to play games with, color and just sit and play. This is what he needed, and I hope that he and the girls will hit it off and continue to thrive on all the change.
So with my next update, I hope to have lots of good news.
Last Monday we got our first placement. She's short term respite care. She's 14 with some big delays and MR diagnosis so it's been a whole new experience. We really were not prepared enough for this, and were not given enough info which has made it all a lot harder. She is definitely more at the mind set of a 5 yr old. She will sit and play with the kids, loves to do puzzles and to color. She has not bonded with me in any way, and gets very nervous when I try to include her in what I'm doing, or try to talk to her. It's been getting a little bit better, but it's pretty frustrating. She has a lot of nervous habits that start when she is stressed or upset, and always gets that way when I try to interact. But yet, she will follow me everywhere as I try to get stuff done. She has been overwhelming to the little kids, but her and Kristopher have hit it off pretty well. And she is very quickly attached to my husband. Also is not thrilled with the dogs, but has started to come around and occasionally will play with them.
Our time was only for 10 days, so tomorrow morning she will be going back to her regular foster family. I can honestly say that I'm ready for that to happen, and the age and needs are a little more than I was prepared to deal with.
In the time that she has been with us, I have had to have "the talk" with her. No one has ever really helped her to understand her period, and they have said she is pretty irregular. Luckily for her, I have lots of experience with that stuff. So one evening as she kindly announced to everyone (we had my parents over for dinner) that her "friend" was coming and she needs to put on a pad just in case it's early, I told her we will talk about it in private. I had a little chat about how that should be a little more private, but not to be embarrassed about it, and that she can talk to people if she needs to and just explained that usually that should be a between girls type of subject. And that I would be happy to answer any questions as long as it's in private, meaning not in front of Kristopher or a bunch of guests. We did have the talk later, and she said that her foster mom said that she should prepare for it to arrive on the 8th, but has yet to show up as far as I'm being told. I am actually hoping at this point that it holds off till she's home because I'm kinda scared going from one child, who is a boy, to all of a sudden dealing with periods in a week!
We also had an experience with braces. She has a habit of chewing her fingers, and picking at the braces. One evening she was back reading and came out upset saying she broke a wire. Of course, it was on the weekend, and so late that no way we could get somewhere to have it fixed that night. I got to experience calling the on call person with the agency, and then spent most of Monday morning trying to locate where she goes, how to handle this, and finally got an afternoon appt. To all of our surprise, they decided to just remove the braces that day. She was beyond excited.
So lots of changes and experiences in the past 9 days, and such a learning experience for us.
Tomorrow morning she goes home, and then tomorrow evening we meet with another set of kids. They think that they've found "our" kids and we will have long term, potential adoption placement!! They are 2 girls, ages 6 and going on 8. Mixed race, mild behavior issues and in therapy due to being in the system for a while. I probably shouldn't go into their history on here, publicly, but I will just say that this could work out that if placement goes well, by this point next year we may be talking adoption instead of fostering. They have to be with us a minimum of 6 months before they will look into that. Tomorrow night we will be meeting with their therapists, caseworkers and the girls themselves, to see how we click and if it's a situation that could work for us. I am getting pretty excited, but crazy nervous about all this. If we decide it's what we want to do, we're expected to appear before the judge at their court hearing next Wednesday, and if the judge agrees to the removal and placement with us, we will come home as a family of 5. (Girls are in the care of older sister at the moment, and the sister is voluntarily giving them up because she's too young to do all this on her own.)
And to end this long novel, I'll add that Kristopher has adjusted amazingly to this craziness at the moment and his therapist was very pleased with his progress at his appt this morning. She said he's a lot more positive and confident and she feels we have done an awesome job with preparing him and helping him adjust to the changes. And he absolutely loves having someone to play games with, color and just sit and play. This is what he needed, and I hope that he and the girls will hit it off and continue to thrive on all the change.
So with my next update, I hope to have lots of good news.
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