Wow! Summer is really flying by again.
Last Monday we got our first placement. She's short term respite care. She's 14 with some big delays and MR diagnosis so it's been a whole new experience. We really were not prepared enough for this, and were not given enough info which has made it all a lot harder. She is definitely more at the mind set of a 5 yr old. She will sit and play with the kids, loves to do puzzles and to color. She has not bonded with me in any way, and gets very nervous when I try to include her in what I'm doing, or try to talk to her. It's been getting a little bit better, but it's pretty frustrating. She has a lot of nervous habits that start when she is stressed or upset, and always gets that way when I try to interact. But yet, she will follow me everywhere as I try to get stuff done. She has been overwhelming to the little kids, but her and Kristopher have hit it off pretty well. And she is very quickly attached to my husband. Also is not thrilled with the dogs, but has started to come around and occasionally will play with them.
Our time was only for 10 days, so tomorrow morning she will be going back to her regular foster family. I can honestly say that I'm ready for that to happen, and the age and needs are a little more than I was prepared to deal with.
In the time that she has been with us, I have had to have "the talk" with her. No one has ever really helped her to understand her period, and they have said she is pretty irregular. Luckily for her, I have lots of experience with that stuff. So one evening as she kindly announced to everyone (we had my parents over for dinner) that her "friend" was coming and she needs to put on a pad just in case it's early, I told her we will talk about it in private. I had a little chat about how that should be a little more private, but not to be embarrassed about it, and that she can talk to people if she needs to and just explained that usually that should be a between girls type of subject. And that I would be happy to answer any questions as long as it's in private, meaning not in front of Kristopher or a bunch of guests. We did have the talk later, and she said that her foster mom said that she should prepare for it to arrive on the 8th, but has yet to show up as far as I'm being told. I am actually hoping at this point that it holds off till she's home because I'm kinda scared going from one child, who is a boy, to all of a sudden dealing with periods in a week!
We also had an experience with braces. She has a habit of chewing her fingers, and picking at the braces. One evening she was back reading and came out upset saying she broke a wire. Of course, it was on the weekend, and so late that no way we could get somewhere to have it fixed that night. I got to experience calling the on call person with the agency, and then spent most of Monday morning trying to locate where she goes, how to handle this, and finally got an afternoon appt. To all of our surprise, they decided to just remove the braces that day. She was beyond excited.
So lots of changes and experiences in the past 9 days, and such a learning experience for us.
Tomorrow morning she goes home, and then tomorrow evening we meet with another set of kids. They think that they've found "our" kids and we will have long term, potential adoption placement!! They are 2 girls, ages 6 and going on 8. Mixed race, mild behavior issues and in therapy due to being in the system for a while. I probably shouldn't go into their history on here, publicly, but I will just say that this could work out that if placement goes well, by this point next year we may be talking adoption instead of fostering. They have to be with us a minimum of 6 months before they will look into that. Tomorrow night we will be meeting with their therapists, caseworkers and the girls themselves, to see how we click and if it's a situation that could work for us. I am getting pretty excited, but crazy nervous about all this. If we decide it's what we want to do, we're expected to appear before the judge at their court hearing next Wednesday, and if the judge agrees to the removal and placement with us, we will come home as a family of 5. (Girls are in the care of older sister at the moment, and the sister is voluntarily giving them up because she's too young to do all this on her own.)
And to end this long novel, I'll add that Kristopher has adjusted amazingly to this craziness at the moment and his therapist was very pleased with his progress at his appt this morning. She said he's a lot more positive and confident and she feels we have done an awesome job with preparing him and helping him adjust to the changes. And he absolutely loves having someone to play games with, color and just sit and play. This is what he needed, and I hope that he and the girls will hit it off and continue to thrive on all the change.
So with my next update, I hope to have lots of good news.
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