Waiting...to wait some more

I should be use to this.  Its a very trying time.  Waiting, just to wait some more.  We're still on hold with the girls.  Court is probably being delayed again while we work out visitation plans, and all the what ifs.  We definitely want to meet them first, and their caseworkers and therapists want the same so that this can be an easier transition for everyone.  I understand the reasoning, but it's so hard to plan anything at this point.  We can't even make weekend plans yet because we don't know if they will come, have a really bad adjustment period and not be able to go out and do some of our plans.
I believe everything happens for a reason, and I'm trying to remind myself that there IS a reason this is happening, but I'm so impatient.

I also miss our respite girl.  I keep thinking about her and how her life is going to change yet again.  The family she is placed with, is only a short term place.  I feel bad for her because she has bonded already.  I wish I could help but I am pretty sure her needs are way out of my area of help. 

I'm mixed on what I should do about babysitting as well.  We could have scheduled to go see the girls tomorrow, but babysitting kind of screwed that up.  Tuesday's are not really possible to find back up help.  Not on a few hours notice anyway.  And I also do not have a sitter for my own tomorrow, so we had to say it wasn't an option.  If I do get this placement, when school starts up I'm going to need to find other help for either helping get mine to school, or to sit here while I pick mine up.  I am trying to decide if the effort is worth it.  I'll miss them, but it's been stressful lately.  I also have issues with being home alone for long periods of time.  The first week or 2 of it would be ok, but I can only clean so much before I'm just sitting here bored.  I need to get some hobbies again. 

And on another interesting note.  My period was here June 5th.  About 11 days later, I swear I had ovulation signs.  I was really sure it was happening, and I had planned to just avoid during that time, but we didn't.  I have not started yet.  I highly doubt I could possibly be pregnant, but there is always that little voice in my head that makes me question being late.  I will chalk my possible obsession type symptoms up to the heat and stress.  I figured if I mention it, maybe it will start like it has all those other times.  If not, I might break down and buy a test or 2 this weekend.  Or maybe wait another week.  I really doubt I'm late for any real reason other than stress and typical pcos games. 

I will try to sleep now.  Hopefully I get some answers with tomorrow's update phone calls.....