Wow!!! Crazy Workout!!

I'm dedicating the hour after Kristopher goes to bed to trying to give it a true effort at working out and losing weight. Tonight I forced myself to do another 1/2 hr on the elliptical. I done 2.78 mile and burnt 336.8 calories. Then, I came upstairs and decided to try out this wii active challenge game I bought. I set it to medium work out, and started the 30 day challenge.
Let me just say. I can do a lot and not sweat like a man. This game had me sweating like crazy. And it was on medium work out. My whole body is shakey. I was hungry before I started working out and now I'm feeling really exhausted and full. No interest in a late night snack. That's a very good thing.
So, today I feel better. And I feel accomplished again. I hope I can stick to this.
Off to clean the kitchen and get ready for bed. I think I'll need another shower too.
Note to self. Don't bother showering till AFTER work out tomorrow night. Ok? Thanks.

Snow day

Today was a snow day. Nice wake up call at 6am saying school decided to close. All in all, we got between 4-6 inches. It's finally over. Tomorrow is already scheduled as a 2 hour delay. Part of me is hoping they cancel, but at the same time, a delay will be fine as well.

W-2 came today. I filed taxes tonight. Hurray for nice deposit in 7-10 days. Perfect timing too with our horrible winter time electric bill.

I didn't work out tonight. I woke up with a wonderful cold and sinus issues and now that I've gotten everything else done, I decided I'll take a break. They say not to overdo things anyway.

Past 3 days now I have remembered to take my vitamin again. And vit C as well. Already my nails are growing nicely again. They have been splitting and started to look nasty. Maybe in a few weeks I'll order and restart the herbs.

I caved and bought another gallon of tea tonight. I just can not cut it out cold turkey. It was only one glass so I feel ok.

I just realized how late it truly was. I better get to bed just in case the roads are clear enough for the little people to make it in the morning. If not, I'm sleeping till at least 8am. Yay!

Tuesday

This week seems to be seriously dragging. But, I've accomplished a lot.
I did not eat a ton of junk. I caved right before supper and ate some bad stuff, but not a lot. I have also stuck to mostly water. I had one glass of tea, and it's the last of it. I don't plan on buying anymore. If I get too bad, I can make some. I don't like that as much, so chances are I'll just stick to water.
I have a caffeine headache.
I worked out this evening. 1/2 hr on the elliptical, and I'd have to look up what I wrote down the miles/caleries burned to be. But, I feel the burn, and am exhausted now.
In other news, I have a ton of orchids blooming. I have been meaning to sit down and do a photoshoot, but little kids everywhere lately and it's impossible to get into that with them around. I'm off tomorrow, so maybe I'll work at that.
They are also calling for snow. Yippie! I have a morning meeting at the school to help with starting the yearbook, and then the afternoon free. I'm hoping they do not cancel school. If anything, probably let out after lunch. That would work perfect for me.
Off to finish cleaning and get ready for bed. My butt is dragging.

Blah

This is how I feel lately. I guess technical term is depression. I'll admit it. Maybe that's the first step to overcoming this crap.
In the past year, I've started hiding out more, not caring about anything, and just drowning in this horrible mood and attitude. I'm sick of it. This weekend I finally weighed myself for the first time in like 3 months. It was BAD. A year and half ago when the study ended, I was 10lbs away from hitting my *Ideal* weight. Something I haven't been in so many years. Now, I need to lose 30-35 to hit that. I have gained at least 20lbs. It's scary. What is so weird is my jeans still fit. I've just created a wonderful muffin top and getting some nasty thighs. I feel absolutely disgusting. I quit taking my herbs, quit taking the vitamins, and am eating and drinking junk. Caffeine is my best friend I've recently discovered McDonalds caramel mochas. McDonalds is very close, so I've been hitting that several times a week. Not only is it extremely bad, it's also getting expensive. I have to stop.
So, between that weight wake up call, and um, day time "adult time", I'm grossed out enough to do something about this. I have some nice exercise equipment partially set up in the basement. I have a wii and the active challenge game that has never been played. I have P90x that I started for a whole whopping 2 days, and then quit. It's time to use this crap.
Tonight I spent a half hour on the gazelle elliptical thing, and did 2.36 mile, and burnt 286 calories. My legs are like jello and steps are hard to do. I feel totally weak and exhausted. I took my vitamin and drank a ton of water. I feel accomplished for tonight.
Tomorrow I'm going to cut back the caffeine. I'm too busy and too dependant to cut it out completely just yet. Cut back should be good enough for now. I'm going to try to do this elliptical thing every evening. Half hour a day should help. We will see what I can squeeze in of other things. I can't wait for spring so I can walk in the evenings. I find it so much easier and more relaxing than this stupid machine.
And, I'm going to try harder to blog more frequently. If I can clear my mind completely, maybe I'll feel better. There's a lot going on in my mind and a lot of stress. I need to get past this. I feel like crap.
And, over the weekend I relocated a ton of Kristopher's baby videos. I'm want to get healthier so that we can revisit that subject again. I'm not ready to quit just yet. I can't find peace with things the way they are just yet. My mental stop point is 2 yrs away. So I have 2 yrs to figure that out. For now, must get healthier.....

And now it's Friday night

Interesting week. My new attitude is working out better for me, and I've set some new rules in action for the babysitting. I now get to sleep in till 7-7:30 if I truly wanted, and Kristopher has less drama and noise first thing in the morning. The little kids get to sleep in a little and get about an hour extra with their mom in the mornings. She is only going to be here for like 15 mins before going to work. Less drama all around and hopefully everyone is less stressed.
I had a much better start to the morning, Kristopher woke up about 20 mins later than he had been and he also had a great day. The kids both came in pretty good moods as well.
I made a few other requests and I think things will go better for everyone.
My new approach is I will not keep my issues locked up. If it bothers me enough, I'm going to say something. If people get annoyed, then oh well. I think things are going to be better though.

I think it's safe to say that I've got Danielle potty trained now. At least here. It's been work in progress, but it's been about 5-6 weeks of her wearing underwear and we've only had 1 accident. Home is still an issue because she isn't asked frequently enough, but all I care about at this time is that she does great for me, both here and when we go away, and it's less diapers to deal with. 2 in diapers was hard! She's also started talking like crazy, and I find it pretty fun and hilarious with her new words. My least favorite word this week would be "Why??" Kristopher never really got into that one....

I had a weird spam thing the other day based on my blogger profile. It was interesting. Luckily I'm smart enough to not fall for it.

Cycle/TTC wise. It's day 9. I didn't really post much on it lately, but it was an ugly start. I spotted for several days to about a week. It was a very bad period. I also ended up with a yeast infection somehow and I panicked. How exactly does one treat that while having that issue at the same time? I was not about to waste the $20 on a kit just to have it not work, and decided to call the dr first. They were nice enough to just call in a script for me for the pill, and it finally seems to work. It wasn't really a full blown infection, but I had the uncomfortableness and pain. Still lingering and I just took my 2nd pill. It's day 3 of that treatment. Interesting though. Ugh.
TTC....I'm still in a stuck point. I'm not sure what I want anymore. Of course there is that part of me that would love more than anything to get to experience it all again. But I'm questioning if I should at this point. Kristopher is getting older and if there would be another, we're at the point now that there would be at least 7 years between kids. I didn't want that. We're also getting into a lot more expense and other stuff, so I worry about the money aspect of things. And then there is the fact I have nothing and would start over. Completely. And the lack of sleep. I am really starting to value my sleep.....I just don't know. Right now I'm going with whatever happens, happens, but well...I just don't know.
And another thing. If I didn't need the possibility of maternity coverage, I could get a very much cheaper insurance policy. Just a lot of random thinking lately.
I'm tired and have a ton of things planned for tomorrow. Off to bed and hopefully a goods night sleep.