I'm still here!

I've been really slacking with blogging. I feel out of it lately. I'm not tracking this cycle, and I honestly don't even remember what day it started. Its my off month so oh well. I know that nothing is going on and I'm ok with that.
We've been busy with lots the past week. It's gotten colder. The leaves are changing. We've been going on some walks and doing things outside. I've also started I guess fall cleaning. With cooler weather, I broke out K's warmer clothes. I've come to realize that this kid grows waaaay too fast. He can't fit into any of the pants from last spring. Things that were bought new in the spring. He now needs size 6's in pants. Some of his shirts are fine. All his cooler weather pj's are too small. He has issues with them being too short so I can't even make him wear them that way. He has 2 pair of the tighter fitting kind and apparently it "bothers his pee-pee" (yes, he doesn't use proper terms and I'm fine with that). I am not fine with the fact he's constant adjusting himself now when he's wearing jammies! So, we're going to have to do some shopping really soon. And have I mentioned that he's awfully close to 4 ft tall already? I was like 37 inches when I started school at 6 yrs old. This kid is at least 10 inches taller than that. He's going to be a giant. He goes for his 5 yr WCV on Oct 14th.
And more on him....He has a loose tooth!!!!!! I don't remember losing teeth till like 1st grade, so that would make me 7 yrs old by the time it happened. K just turned 5 and I noticed his use to be perfect top teeth are changing. One is longer and something looked weird. So I started testing teeth and sure enough, one of those top middles is wiggily. Not majorly loose yet but it's starting! I'm not ready for this and I'm not sure he will be either. He's freaked about blood and things that might hurt, and I don't know what he will do after a tooth falls out. And I do hope it just falls out. I don't want to have to try to pull that. Somehow he already knew about the tooth fairy. We haven't talked about that at all. Must be from school last year or something.

We're getting closer to Oct now. One more day!
We earned a free hotel night with our beach stay, so we're trying to find something to do towards the end of Oct/beginning of Nov to do just the 2 of us. My birthday is Oct 26th, our anniversary is Nov 9th and then Dennis's bday is Dec 7th. We have till Nov 11th I think it is to use the free night. So we will do it as a combination of the 3 things. Of course, I'm trying to plan that around when my period might show up which we have no clue on that one. I guess it will be pretty last minute planning. My mom said she will watch K for us to go as sort of a b-day gift to me. We have not been away on our own for so long. Maybe we will just do dinner and a movie then get a room. HA. That sounds bad..... I'm looking forward to a night away though!
Well, since it's getting cold and nasty lately here, I'll be around more. There's lots I think about while out and about that I'd like to blog about, but never feel like it once I get home and the chance to relax. Fall/winter will bring me back.

Another week passed

Well, not really all that much going on. I'm not keeping track of things this month and have no idea what day I'm on. I'm 99% sure that nothing is going on anyway so I won't stress myself out with tracking. I have one more month until my appt with the clinic. After that appt, I'm ordering the herbs and will start those till spring at least. Maybe they will work and I won't have to worry about what is next in the spring!
I've emailed them a lot and found out the whole "cleansing" process is mostly just getting rid of the old unshed lining. I know based on my old history and a lot of these study u/s that my lining is still growing thick even with mostly regular periods. And lately the periods are bad for the first day or so then it's spotting for a few more. I believe with how thick things looked by u/s that everything is not shedding properly anyway. So they said to expect the first month on it to have a lot of brown spotting and the first period might be bad, but then it will regulate fast. It apparently has very high success with PCOS and endo. I figured it's worth a shot. And right around $100 for basically a 4 month supply! Seeing as each cycle will be at least $1000, this could work out in my favor while on a break. Heck it's cheaper than birth control seeing as my insurance won't cover it.
Even though I'm on a break, I can't shut off a lot of the thoughts and wants. I've still had a few emotional breakdowns in the past 2 weeks. Mostly though I'm managing just fine. Like I was told, we still do our part regularly, who knows what might happen. I'll still hold onto that tiny string of hope that someday it will just work on it's own just once and we will get lucky. I guess anything is possible right?

I've been distracted

My final appt was on Monday and I have yet to update. I am slacking. Basically all we did was the questionnaires again, weight, blood pressure, measurements, skin test, basic stuff like in the start of the study. They did a final round of blood work, one of which was checking liver levels. K had a cold so I couldn't leave him with a sitter and he got to go along. That was a blast. We had to be up and out of the house at 6:30, and he already wasn't feeling well, so he was quite the handful at the appt. We talked a little about the last round, a little about the length of the cycles that did work. Out of the 5, I ovulate 3 times. The first time was ruined by the gall bladder attack. The 2nd I still blame on the fact that we didn't have a good start to that cycle because we started without a period. Then nothing worked again till the last round. That one I have yet to understand because we did everything right. Anyway, she said to keep her updated with everything going on and told me not to give up. She's been great support this year with all this and I really wish she was part of the clinic too. But she's research only so hopefully the new nurses I'll deal with are just as nice. My first clinic appt will be Oct 27th. Mostly I'm just going to see what they suggest, find out prices for treatment options and I'll tell them I'll call back when I'm ready to schedule all this and give it a go again. I definitely want a break from the constant appts. My plans as of right now is to do the herbal stuff starting in November. I've been emailing them back and forth this past week and have gotten a lot of info and it sounds like a really good choice right now. It sounds a lot easier than some of these meds, and has extremely good success stories. At this point I'll just be happy with better cycles and controlling these pcos issues.
And I've been distracted lately because of this drama with my brother. His girlfriend kicked him out "for a few weeks" on Sunday and my mom took pity on him. He's now staying here at night. And causing our lives to be turned upside down and dramatic. All of this has proved to us that no matter how much we help them, we will never be anything more than extra money. At this point, we're putting in an application for the townhouses we use to rent from for something by next summer. I want to be 100% sure on what we are doing in the spring when it's time to sign K up for Kindergarten. Things will happen a whole lot quicker if this temporary drama turns into more regular nonsense. I know that mentally I just can't take much more. I hate to move, and I hate to be back in the city life, but it doesn't make much sense for us to stick around and bust butt to help out and not be appriciated. Plus closer to work would save us a lot. I have to decide which is better long term before any big decisions get made.
But, that's the latest. Honest things didn't use to be so crazy and dramatic with my life. And I typically wouldn't even mention it but it's been on my mind and driving me crazy and helps to get it all out.

Quick update

I'm officially done with the study. I had my last appt today and everything went ok. I won't find out what med I was on for a while though. They have to wait for the very last person to complete the final appt. It could be a while since I started it right away and was one of the first people to even sign up and get registered.
Anyway, I got a copy of my blood work and looked up insulin levels. Apparently I am insulin resistant. I'm in the normal range but the site was saying levels over certain #'s are IR. I am over those #'s but still in the normal range. I'm confused.
I have tried metformin before and got really really sick. I made it 3 weeks before giving up.
I don't go to the clinic till Oct 27th. I'm trying to decide now if I just order the herbs and give that a try, or wait and ask for another try at Met. Any thoughts?
I'll update more tomorrow. I'm exhausted.

Fall is here

From what I've been told, we hit the 40's last night. I'm not sure the actual temp because well, I was not about to get up that early. I know that when I left the dog out this morning, it look as if we got frost. It smells like fall. The leaves are coloring on the mountain behind us. It is dark before 8! It's definitely around the corner. And I don't know if I'm ready.
What I like about fall is all the color. Fall in PA is so pretty. For us it means a lot of dirt road drives (state parks/forests), trips for hiking and waterfall pics. Lots to do before it gets cold.
It also means raking a billion leaves. It means heat coming on in early Oct. starting a vicious cycle of crazy bills for the winter. It means no more going outside barefoot, having to layer up the clothes, freezing etc. While I do love fall, I do not like what will come after. Winter is hard for me because I'm on the go and love to be outside.
Anyway, my weekend plan is to get some stuff pulled out of the garden because it's basically over. I need to get some of the summer water toys put away in the garage. I want to go for a walk somewhere too and play around with the new camera.
And an update on the crazy post. My brother's kids mother, who says they are still on a break, (does anyone else remember that friends episode with Ross and Rachel? WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!! That comes to mind everytime I hear that crap.) was feeling a lot of pains Thursday night and ended up in the ER. Apparently everything was fine but they found something out. Ready for this weirdness? They did 2 pregnancy tests. Urine test was negative so they ordered a blood test. Level was 0. Apparently she is not pregnant! But being the f-tards that they are, they go and buy another test on the way home, which is apparently digital, and get another positive. Not sure what is causing them to be that way, if they can even read the things, but I'm sticking with the hospital can not be wrong about that. There is no way a home test would detect it and a blood test would not. Just not possible. I'm sure it will get more interesting before this is over but I feel a little better mentally now.
I'm going to relax and enjoy this nice weekend.