More complaining

It's not been brought up on here because people's opinions can be rude on weird situations but the hormones are crazy for whatever reason this week and I'm whiney.
We live with my parents. Not because we are poor and deadbeats like some people in our families, but because with the economy and everything it made a lot of sense. My parents had talked about selling their house and I couldn't stand to let it happen because I love this place. But at the same time, we honestly did not feel comfortable with putting ourselves in that kind of strain right now so we agreed to come home and help with things about 2 yrs ago now.
And before everyone thinks what a crazy situation, especially with our journey with everything, it's not that bad. The house is massively huge. There is 4 huge bedrooms and almost 3 bathrooms. Last year we built on to make an area for my parents so they don't have to continue to do the steps and are almost done with a new bathroom and bedroom downstairs for them. Then we only share the kitchen. It works out well for everyone and really helps them out because my dad works construction and has been on partial layoff since the housing market fell. And last winter he was off for at least 3 months.
So we're still fixing up a lot to make this an easier permanent arrangement. It is working out well and while it won't be forever, it is going to be at least for a few more years till things stable back out. And maybe it will be them who moves on. I really like this place and it's perfect for us. Not so much them as they get older because the steps and the size.
We also wanted to be out of the city life and back in the country with K getting older. This is a better school district and he can play outside without having other weird kids trying to steal his stuff. So while we are here, we definitely have more finances because of the distance, older house, more expensive heat, etc. But it's what we want so it balances out.
The only reason this is brought up is because of a huge issue going on with the inlaws about this. Yesterday I got into a wonderful phone war with my sister in law about how we can't possibly understand the stress of the economy with how we have everything so easy (ha i wish) and that their parents are struggling and yet we sit here doing everything for my parents. It goes back and forth between being accused of not paying anything on our own, and then goes to we pay everything for them as well. Which is not true at all. We pay rent, we spilt everything else house wise. We buy our own food. We still have our own bills. It does cost more to live here than when we lived in our old place but like I said, it's where we want to be. I'm happier, K is happier and I even think my husband is happier. I may have to take care of more since I'm the only one not working, but I like to cook and I'm kinda ocd and like to clean.
So anyway, I'm just clearing my mind. I'm so sick of the negative attitudes from people about this. No one pays for our stuff, no one buys our food, we're not living on welfare like a lot of family is and my husband works and has a great job. So until those people fix their issues, there is no reason for them to butt into my life. Actually, until they start paying for my stuff, they have no opinion on it. End of story.

Confused

Ok so I wasn't going to even bring it up, but I'm confused and need to clear my mind. Monday night we had sex and after about 1/2 hr or so, I went to pee. On the tp was blood. Red/pinkish. I instantly freaked thinking things were starting, grabbed my underwear to see if they were ruined, nothing there. Wiped again and nothing more. Went to the bedroom and turned the light on to see in there, nothing there. So it had me awake for a while thinking for sure that something was going to be starting overnight. Oh and I was always crampy at that point. So after a few hours, I sucked it up and went to bed with a pad to be extra safe.
Yesterday morning I wake up to nothing at all, not even spotting on the tp. Cramped a lot all day yesterday and was on constant tp check anytime something felt weird. Not a single spot all day. I have all the signs that it's coming. I'm crampy still. I'm exhausted. I want chocolate or junk food. The weird part is there isn't any boob changes right now. No pain or anything there. Usually for me they hurt a few days before things start. So I really don't know what to think. I sat down and went over my chart, and based on pains, I think I ovulated on day 25. And today is day 38, so it puts me 13 dpo. I can't test. I honestly can't bring myself to do it, see the negative and totally give up yet. I figure if I make it till Saturday, then I will give it a try. Part of me really thinks though that this is over and it's just a day or 2 till it shows up. Should I wait longer than Saturday to test? I am scared here! And crazy....
Oh and he is totally cut off till we know for sure, and poor guy if it turns out to be positive this weekend, he is going a long time before I will trust sex again.

And he's 5.....

September 3, 2004.

This date has changed me forever. It was the day I became a mother. After 3 years of hoping and waiting for the day, I finally got to hold my baby boy. I never knew it was possible to love someone so much so quickly. The moment I saw him and held him, my life was forever changed. This boy is my world. Kristopher was born at 9:48pm, 3 weeks early because he was impatient from the start. He was 7lbs 7ozs and 20.5 inches long. We brought him home and were just in awe that he was ours. That we created this.

And then the time started to fly. Before we knew it, he was a year old. And just like typical Kristopher, he was impatient and decided that cribs were for babies, and graduated to a big twin bed at 13 months. Then, decided diapers were also for babies, and was totally potty trained at 17 months. Teeny tiny underwear that were impossible to find, but made him the happiest baby, er i mean toddler, in the world. And then we hit 2 years. The big thing in his life then was blues clues.

And then 3 years was here before we knew it. By then he's turned all boy and is obsessed with tractors. Specifically John Deere. So what better to celebrate 3 yrs than to get his own john deere tractor?
3 years went by crazy fast and he was 4. He ventured out into freedom and started preschool and made lots of new friends. He played tball for the first time. And now he is 5. And I sit here wondering where the last 5 years have gone. I've looked back at these pictures 100 times at least, and just want to go back in time and scoop up that little baby and savor every moment all over again. Time sure does go by fast. Next year he is off to school all day long and I honestly don't know what I'll do. But for now, I'm going to savor every second of our last year together and be proud of what a funny and smart little boy he's become. Our itty bitty little man is now over 47 inches tall, and weighs close to 47 lbs as well. Takes after his daddy and is going to be crazy tall I guess. Oh and in typical impatient fashion, we've discovered the reason for some extreme moodiness lately. He has 6 yrs molars coming in. Those look like they really hurt! Anyway....

Update

I've been home since Thursday evening and been non stop busy since walking in the door. I have lots I started to work on and saved but have not finished. Maybe I'll get to some of that in the next day or so.
For now, I'll do a quick update.
We left a day early from the beach because there was something off the coast and it was a lot colder than we expected things to be. The hotel absolutely sucked. I went the cheaper route and stayed about a mile from the beach, like we did last year and this year the place was a joke. That's the main reason we left a day early. None of us were able to sleep much because of noise and being uncomfortable, and add the chilly weather, and it wasn't as much fun as we hoped. We still had a really great time and it was wonderful to get away together without any other obligations to get in the way. Next year we plan to go earlier in the year while it's still really warm and can be enjoyed even more.
Kristopher turned 5 on Thursday. Wednesday night while I couldn't sleep I started a new post about that. Pictures included. Hopefully I'll finish that and get it posted tomorrow....I can't believe he's 5.
We had his birthday party yesterday. It was the first year he had friends invited and he loved it. More of that later too.
I have no clue what cycle day I'm on. I've been achy and tired, but nothing is starting yet. I have not tested. I'm thinking I'm 11 or 12 days past ovulation but I don't plan to test till the weekend. I'm not sure what to think yet. I just know I don't want to see a negative right now and ruin my good mood.
That's it for now. I'm thinking I'm calling it an early night and I'm going to bed with my husband. Back to reality tomorrow. It was great to have him home for 10 days and I can honestly say I'm not ready for things to end. Anyway, more updates in the next few days.

Beach pics

First 2 are from yesterday morning. We got up at 5:45, went to the beach and walked till the sun came up. It was freezing! Incredibly windy here this week. I think there is a storm on the coast or something. I actually have not watched the weather since being here. So I have no clue. Last 2 are from yesterday. We went to the beach, and the waves were bigger than normal. Had a blast though! Enjoy the pics. We're leaving for the beach for the day again.