Today will be very random. Lots on my mind, and the boys are very distracted with toys and legos. It's so quiet around here!
M was moved this past weekend. It almost didn't happen, do to some cold feet on behalf of the new family Friday night, but it got straightened out and we got her moved Saturday. The last day was very difficult. She had an attitude of no longer caring at that point, and was basically an F You attitude. I know I shouldn't take it personally, and with all the times she's moved from home to home, she's probably just assuming we're the same as all the rest. She knows we will still be seeing her when her brother has visits with the rest of the siblings, but part of her thinks that she's gone from here, we are the past, never to be seen or talked to again. I get it. I just have to pretend like it doesn't hurt after all I have done, and went through with her. I'm told that transition to the new home is going "rough" and that behaviors are on an all time high level. They don't get the whole honeymoon phase we had for 2 months with her, because they already have known her, and she's seen them a lot over the past year. (Her friend's family went through approval so they could take her till permanency could be found.)
The boys are doing great with her moved. The attitudes and just general feeling of the house is very relaxed and less stressed now. As weird as it is, coming back after she was totally moved out, did not feel too weird. I guess it really was meant to be. On Tuesday, the boys helped me take apart Daniel's bed, and we moved his stuff over to her old room. He now has his very own room for the first time ever. He's very excited. Kristopher went through his toys, and actually parted with a lot to give him a very full stash for his toybox. They have been playing apart for part of the day, and then they take turns playing in each others rooms and get along great. I find myself with a lot of free time now because I'm not having to constantly linger near doors to make sure no one is saying hurtful things from room to room, or creating drama. This means evenings I am able to have our supper done, or almost done by the time my husband gets home. The kitchen is able to be cleaned up right after, and we can relax together after dinner because it just flows so nicely with how things are now. Yesterday the boys and I went out to the library and spent over an hour there. Today I think we will go to the park for a walk because the weather is awesome.
Baby related. I'm having some sciatic nerve pains that just really suddenly hits and I can barely walk. It goes away as quickly as it comes, so that's a good thing. I usually take it as a sign that I need to chill out and rest. I'll be 26 weeks in 2 days, and amazed with how fast this is flying by. She moves very frequently, and pretty much always able to feel movement from the outside as well. If I'm sitting, I can also see the movement out of the corner of my eye at times. It's really fascinating to me. Last week I had a couple jabs that were actually kind of painful, and she was positioned oddly enough that it was rib jabs. it caused me to jerk forward while sitting. Luckily she moved shortly after, so I won't complain, but for the most part it's all fun movement.
In 2 weeks I do my glucose testing. I'm not too worried about it. I would assume if I had anything to worry about, I'd have some kind of signs at this point.
3-4 weeks, I'm going to do the 4D ultrasound at the special place I found. I really want to do it this time around because I'm pretty sure she will be the last baby. I'm feeling like I'm getting too old to keep up with all this. I love the experience, but I'm going to talk to the dr about the possibility of tubal. If I have to have a c-section for any reason, I want it done then. If not, I am not sure when, or what we will do for birth control. Looking back, I'm glad we had the big gap between kids, and I want to give her the same chance Kristopher had with all the attention. It will be different since we do have the boys this time around, but their ages will make this a lot easier. I don't know if I can handle another pregnancy, if it was to happen while she is young, and still keep up with the schedule the boys have. I really feel like she will complete our family, so I am ready to make some decisions and talk this through with the doctor.
Adoption news.
Parental rights were terminated on June 17th. Bio mom appealed the termination within her allowed 30 days. The files are now sent to the bigger courts for review, and that process can take anywhere from 6 months to 1 year. Daniel has been with us long enough that we are classified a pre-adoptive home, not just a foster home. We fully intend on still adopting him, and he's finally getting excited and open to the idea of adoption. There is no possible way that the decision will be overturned for the termination, it's the just rights she has and she decided to make it hard on everyone else and use it. There is so much bad and wrong things documented that she stands no chance. Her own lawyer had tried to get her to just sign off voluntarily so she didn't have all this legal crap to do, but she refused. So now we wait. It just sucks because I was hoping to submit our adoption paperwork and truly have our family complete by the end of the year. At least we know it will still happen someday, just going to take more time. It sucks that he's finally ready for the process to start, and now there is a hold up. He's too young to totally understand what all that means, so he is just being told that the courts take a while to put all the paperwork through and for us to get a hearing. Blame the courts seems to work. Either way, baby will be coming first, then hopefully by spring, he will be legally ours as well.
That's it for now. It's warmed up a little bit and I think I'll head out to a park with the boys. We need some fresh air and sunlight. :)
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