Tomorrow Zoey is being put to sleep. I haven't blogged about it because I was hoping it would change, and she would bounce back like always. But she has not. The vet did blood work tonight and we found out she is in pretty bad shape. Severe anemia, and kidney failure. I wasn't prepared for that news, so I did something I feel so horrible about at the moment. They gave her some fluids, a shot of something strong, and sent us home for one more night. Dennis didn't get to say a proper goodbye before we left tonight because we thought it was all going to be ok. Kristopher didn't really say goodbye at all when we left, so I felt that they needed this last night.
I of course cried the entire way home, and haven't stopped yet. She's very drugged and sleeping peacefully right now. I hope she has a good night, and tomorrow is over very quickly. I feel like the most terrible person in the world right now because I have to decide this for her. She's not the same anymore and I know she's slowly starving to death, so I have to do what is right.
How do I do it though? And how do I come in this house alone? Life will never be the same without her. She's been with me thru the very hardest points of my life. And now I have to make the decision to end it all. It's not fair.
I of course cried the entire way home, and haven't stopped yet. She's very drugged and sleeping peacefully right now. I hope she has a good night, and tomorrow is over very quickly. I feel like the most terrible person in the world right now because I have to decide this for her. She's not the same anymore and I know she's slowly starving to death, so I have to do what is right.
How do I do it though? And how do I come in this house alone? Life will never be the same without her. She's been with me thru the very hardest points of my life. And now I have to make the decision to end it all. It's not fair.
No comments:
Post a Comment