8 weeks

Well my updating sucks as usual.
I'm 8 weeks now.   Last week we saw and heard the heart beat!  It was 132bpm and so amazing to see/hear!  I have an estimated due date of around 11/23/13. 
We told the kids, because my  nausea was still pretty severe.  Kristopher was starting to freak out because of how little I was able to keep up with around the house, and was so worried about if I was going to bounce back and be ok.  We told him first, and he had some anxiety about it.  He's doing much better now and looking forward to our "new" family by the end of the year. 
We told the other 2 the next day, and the following day I think every aide and teacher in the school knew because they quickly told everyone they could. 

Friday I got a script for Zofran called in.  I finally am starting to eat and drink a lot more.  Especially drinking.  That makes me feel much better because for 2 full weeks, I could barely drink or eat anything.  I was living on pretzels and ginger ale.  I still struggle to drink plain water, but found some other things that are not so overloaded with sugar that I can get down and stay hydrated.  And I'm able to eat much better.  Yesterday I did not take anything, and still managed to be able to eat and drink fine.  Today though, I woke up feeling blah, and have already had to take a pill to be able to get over that.  I hate taking something, but I need to be able to function around here. 

Things to note for my memory of all this.  I have pushed out of most of my jeans.  I have one pair that is a bit bigger, but my favorites, can not be buttoned anymore.  When they say you show faster with your 2nd, they aren't joking.  I bought a few maternity shirts because between my boobs growing an entire cup size, and now the stomach, not much fit comfortably (or appropriately).  I also bought a pair of maternity shorts, because we had a heat wave and none of my jean shorts fit.  I forgot how comfortable maternity can be!  Going to be living it up in my stretchy clothes this summer.  :)

I had my first ob nurse consult.  I lost 7lbs from the week before I found out.  All lab work came back great, and they actually won't be doing another ultrasound now till 20 weeks.  That part makes me sad because they are so reassuring to me to actually see it.  I don't want things to rush too fast, but if we could fast forward to when I can feel movement, I'll feel a lot better. 

That's about it on the pregnancy.  Here's the 7 week scan....

Back again with a huge update!

I originally made this blog private, because I noticed some really disturbing information across the little tracker thing.  I started a new blog, which if any followers on here would like that link, please leave me a comment and I'll get back in touch with the new link, just to prevent any other issues.  I'm not sure if I'll continue here, or not.  Depends on what happens next now that I'm public again. 

Anyway, I'm back with a huge update.  And I do know that it is April Fools Day, but this is very much NOT a joke. 

Last Tuesday (March 27th), this happened:

 

And I started hyperventilating.  Clearly, this was a HUGE shock.  We had never used birth control during our entire marriage of going on 12 years.  It took almost 3 years of trying to have Kristopher, and at least a year of treatments.  Anyone who's read this blog for a while, will know about the studies and trials I took part of, and the extra treatments on my own as well.  Nothing ever worked.  We gave up trying, and was in the process of trying to decide if birth control was a good idea or not at this point in our lives (mostly for the fact of balancing out cycles) when this happened.  My last period was in mid January.  I had spotting for 2 days in Feb, near the end of the month.  From the beginning of March, I had discovered that my boobs were very tender and had that progesterone increase type of feeling.  I started to note that, because I wanted to be prepared for when that period hit.  After several weeks, and no show, I started to worry.  Boobs bumped up a cup size.  I gained some weight which seemed odd because my activity level was up and eating was not.  So anyway, I tested and the test line was there in less than a minute, very deep purple.  I started shaking.  I called my husband shrieking to try to explain what I just discovered.  I wasn't upset, just so shocked because it's the last thing I actually expected.  I have never seen a positive test without going through treatments.  I did not know we could actually do it on our own!  So, the next call was to my doctor.  I haven't been there in almost 2 years, so I wasn't sure what to do next.  They were awesome, and scheduled me for the very next day. 
And I learned that I was 5-6 weeks.  Pretty early.  Ovulated from the right side, and it showed the giant spot in which it happened.  The ultrasound only shows the sack and the little yokey blob.  The doctor was very excited though and seemed very positive.  And gave me 2 "first pictures". 

I go back on April 9th, hoping to see a baby and heartbeat formed by that point.  Then, they can give me a real due date.  At this point, we're estimating between November 17th and the 27th.  Thanksgiving baby. 

So we told a few people, but are keeping it very quiet with most of the family, and especially the kids.  I do not want to tell the kids, till we're sure everything is going ok.  We're still planning to go through with this adoption, so our family really truly has taken a huge jump in size this year!  Anyone who reads this from facebook.  Do NOT comment anything to my page about this....definitely not coming out on there for a few months. 

Symptom wise and how I'm feeling....Boobs still hurt.  My belly is all bloated, and I don't like the feeling of my jeans against that.  I do not like anything sweet at the moment.  I have a cold and extreme coughing at night.  I pulled something in my upper stomach last night from the intense coughing.  I'm hoping that things are better tonight.  I have been drinking a ton of water today and daytime has not been too bad.  I'm trying so hard not to take anything for it, but was given the clear to take delsym if needed.  I'm scared to though since this is so early and all the important stuff is still forming.   I have extreme sense of smell and taste, dispite the cold.  And today, nausea has been a struggle.  I know that it's good signs, and trying to focus on the positive of that.  I have already had a real wonderful shame moment.  Today I was at M's therapist appt and had to excuse myself from the room because a coughing fit triggered gagging.  I ran down the hallway to the bathroom, and proceeded to cough, then dry heave for like 10 mins, right in the bathroom attached to the waiting room.  So when I come out, everyone is staring at me morified, I'm shaking like crazy and tears still from the gagging....Good times to look forward to I guess.  If I can stick to nausea and avoid the vomitting this time around, I'll feel very good about that. 

So, I really wanted to come back on here and share this news since so many of you had followed me during the trials and TTC journey before.  If anyone is still out there reading, and wants the other link in case I have to close this down again due to spam, please let me know.  I am really going to try like crazy to document every part of this new journey because the first time around I did not do so great with that.  I want to remember all these details and do a better job this time around. 

So busy

Things have been so busy around here.  Our kids moved in on the 29th of January, and things have not calmed down since. 

We have a girl who is 8, and a boy who is 6.  They are with us with the intent to adopt, and parental rights are being terminated by May.  The "rule" is that we have to foster for at least 6 months before we could schedule the adoption hearing.  I was told today that we are looking at July-August before they would become officially ours.  The goal would be to have it happen over the summer break so they could start the new school year adopted and with their new last names.  Pretty exciting and I know that every single one of us is on the same page and wants to see that happen. 

The birth mom has requested to meet us, and may actually sign off rights instead of have them terminated by the courts if she feels more comfortable with us than she did at their last home.  Things were pretty bad at the last foster home, to the point that the agency has decided to drop them.  CYS has also been notified and these people will not be allowed to foster ever again.  They are lucky their own children are not removed from their home.  But enough on that. 

Both kids have ADHD, and I now have all 3 established in therapy.  We've been having some struggles with K for some time, and I finally had his big evaluation on Monday.  We have a few more appts this month before getting a formal diagnosis, but it appears that he has clinical anxiety, and also asperger's syndrome.  Possibly some ADHD in there as well.  Things got pretty bad with his anxiety in the past few months, that we had to put him on medication to help with that.  It really does seem to help him, but it's kind of soon to know for sure.  I don't know 100% that it's the med, or the fact that he believes that it will "take all his worries away".  Either way, we're starting to get better sleep and he's doing better.  Next week he has an evaluation with a feeding clinic to meet with a dietitian that will go over pretty much how the entire digestion system works, how what you eat effects your body, etc.  Also to discuss some sensory issues with food that we've discovered over the past year or so. 

So between getting the new kids established, Kristopher's appts and life in general, we've been pretty busy and I've been spending less and less time actually on the computer.  I still check other's blogs through my phone while sitting in the said appts waiting rooms, but commenting has taken to the back burner for now.

And back to the kids....The girl has already started calling us mom & dad because she desperately wants to be apart of a real family and to be ours forever (her words) and within a week had started it.  The boy is mixed and a little more guarded because it's a little confusing to him and he's moved a lot with being so young.    It's pretty cool though when they get excited about something the way K does and gives us a giant hug and calls us mom or dad.  :) 

I'm in a much better place mentally now and love our new family.  I promise to update more because I know I want to look back on this experience later and remember all the early details.  I actually  miss the blogging and even if no one is still around to check in, it is an awesome journal of the entire experience.  Plus I want if anyone out there comes across this, to hopefully be of some support and to know that you are not alone out there.....Anyway, better run.  Just wanted to finally update. :)

Break

I took a little break, but now I think I'm ready to be back and update on everything going on here. 
We met new kids earlier in the month and within an hour I felt a connection to these kids and just knew that they were the ones for our family.  We had them again last weekend and still went really well and bond just got stronger.  They are going to be moving in next week, and by summer will hopefully be able to be legally ours.  Adopted!  To protect the privacy of all that and since everything is public, I'm going to keep details kind of private for now.  We are really excited though to have this waiting part of this journey over. 

I am officially done babysitting.  It's something that has been coming for quite some time.  I finally have had enough and it was getting to be too much on K.  He's been having some struggles and the age difference was just getting to be too big of an issue.  Yesterday was our last day and I feel at peace about it.  And clearly when the kids move in and I have all 3 of my own involved in things, there would not be time to make babysitting work out with the hours it was.  I want to be more available for my family and for evenings to be less crazy. 

That's it for now.  Just a short update.  School is dismissing early today for snow that is not even here yet.  Yay! 

After Christmas Craziness

On the 20th, our foster kids left.  They moved to be with grandparents, so I guess it was for the best for them.  We had given our 30 day notice to the county earlier in the week due to some extreme behaviors from the older 2, and the lack of support and therapy from the county.  So, on court day, the judge granted custody to the grandparents, and after an initial few weeks of being monitored by the county, they will be done with CYS.  The parents think they did good by ok'ing custody to grandma, but in the long haul of it, they will find it will be so much harder to get them back from her as it would have been from the system.  But anyway, we're moving on. 

Saturday I got hit by a bad case of the stomach flu.  Or food poisoning.  Not sure which, but I vomited too many times to keep track from Saturday night till Sunday, then slept all day Sunday and all Sunday night into Monday.  I finally ate real food on Christmas day, and still feel a little bit weak and dizzy at times.  Mental games are making me question what was the cause of it all because it was strictly the vomit side of things, and no real fever.  And my cycles are so screwed up lately and I know I totally skipped November and December so far.  But I'm fairly certain that nothing is possible.  Just those 10+ years of trying that plays mind games when I have issues like this.

Christmas was nice.  Really quiet compared to how the past month had been for us, but it was nice.  We made it way more low key and not so over spent this year, mostly because I had no time to shop till the very last week.  He didn't notice the lesser amount of gifts, and was very excited over what he did get.  He still very much believes in Santa so it was cool to still see the magic side of things on Christmas eve and his rush to get sleep.  And then the suspense of hearing him waking up and peaking at 3am.  Then sighing loudly till we finally gave in at around 4:15-4:30ish because we had told him he had to sleep till 5.  We did give in early, and then ended up sending his whiney but back to bed at 6:30 because he was so emotional and over tired still.  After a little nap, we were back up at 8:30 and enjoyed the rest of the day. 
The dogs got lots of chewy bones and toys they can't kill so easily and have been having a blast ever since. 

And our tree.  It has to come down asap.  On Friday I had my babysitting kids come back, and the little one likes to beat the tree and watch stuff fall.  A few little tiny branches came lose, and the dogs got them before I really noticed.  Then they developed a taste for pine.  And ever since, they will sneak a branch when I'm not looking or in the room, and chew for a while.  The tree now looks pathetic so it will be coming down today. 

A few pics, then I'm off to pack up Christmas. Sad to see it go so fast, but it's over now, and time to move on.