8 years ago

I've known my husband since we were in 5th grade. Back then, he was just this really weird boy that the bus driver made sit with me because we went in alphabetical order. He liked me, and I tried so hard to ignore him and not talk to him. He never let up. Eventually, I discovered that yes he is in fact very weird and strange, but he was also a very nice person.
So when we were in middle school, I found out he "liked" me. Again, we were together all the time because our last names put us together in class. By the time we were 15, we were together officially and we saw each other or talked to each other every single day. We found our ways.

In that time, we started to have a lot of people against us. Mostly my family but we fought hard and proved we would last through whatever came our way. Right after I graduated, we moved in together. We knew from early on that we wanted to get married some day, but we didn't know when and where, mostly just waited for the right time/sign showing us it was time.
So then a day came. 8 years and a couple days we were talking about things again. We knew we wanted to do it, but I didn't want a big wedding (do not like being center of attention and it terrified me at the time) and I didn't want to spend a lot of money on something that was awkward to both of us. So I jokingly said, "lets just do it at the court house." We looked at each other for a minute, and he asked if I was serious and if so lets go get the license. I thought a little on it and said I did want to, I feel it's time and I'm ready so what are we waiting on. We called and got info, we got our license. We called and told family. We found a judge that was really great and does the marriages as a "Happy part of his job" and he encouraged us to invite family. So 8 years ago, we got married. We had our family there, it was special, but it was simple. We were happy.
In these 8 years, we have been put through a lot. We grew up a lot faster than most people our age. We had a lot thrown our way but we survived and are closer than I ever thought possible. I believe everything happens for a reason, and our reason is so we would be stronger. We can overcome any of this. We will survive.

Now I wonder if I should go back and thank that bus driver and those teachers that put us together......

Some answers

I just got off the phone with the herbalist. I'm not sure what I think on all this yet. I'm feel as if she didn't totally understand what I was trying to get answers for, and while I know it's important for me to get regular cycles, I also desperately want to keep trying! I have been re-bit by the baby bug and the fever is bad! I am going to make my appt for referral and a total physical by the family dr here in a week or 2, and then make the appt for the PCOS clinic too. I guess a few more weeks won't hurt me. Right now I can't make too many appts because I'm on call for a friend who's about to have her baby any day. Once that happens and she's home, I can make the appt without worrying.

So, what I found out today is based on my history and lack of periods, my best plan of action would be to start progesterone cream to try to get a period. 1 pump 1 time a day (bedtime) on a soft tissue part of the body. (ex. under knee, inside of arm, behind ear, thigh, stomach, etc.)
Take that for 45 days. That seems like a LONG time to me. But, it doesn't have the craziness like provera has, and is easier to handle then I'd be fine. Once a period would start, then I stop until day 12. If I get to 45 days, then I stop anyway, and I should get a period in 2-3 days. If not, wait a week and start all over.
And, while taking the progesterone cream, I am to take the T&C formula. 1/4 tsp, 3 times a day. This is to tone and cleanse the reproductive organs. While I'm on this, I'll will notice some spotting at first, and with the first period, it will be a little more and "darker" than usual. It basically helps shed all the nasty stuff that doesn't shed regularly. In many cases it also helps with cysts. PCOS and normal ovarian cysts seem to disappear or shrink while taking this. So for this, it would be taken when taking progesterone cream, and stop on day 1. Start again on day 12 and stop with either the start of a period or suspect pregnancy.
They say that this plan will balance out and should cause regular 28 day cycles within 3-6 months of continued treatment.
Another suggestion was to take herbal calcium, 1/4 tsp, 3 times per day as well. That promotes proper ovarian function as well. I could buy their herbal kind, or just get other calcium supplements and follow the recommendation on that.
They also say to continue the prenatals because it's very important and helps everything work even better.
Basically at this point, I have not ordered, and I'm still not sure what to do! I mean, this is all new and I don't know for sure I totally understand it all. It seems like a lot of things to take, and what was originally said to be an order for 4 months is now down to 2. And it costs over $135. I wish I knew for sure it would work for me. While it has very good success stories, I'm not NORMAL. I'm not even normal for PCOS. I stump the doctors, respond awesome sometimes, then don't respond again for months. I'm being cheap and really confused right now. And I know when I make my RE appt, they are not going to even acknowledge any of this herbal stuff and ease my mind any. It's always either birth control or fertility treatments. And the herbalist is all about all natural and their products and anti medical approach. I just want someone who can have opinions on the benefits/risks of both!
Ok, not stressing it anymore right now. Babysitting and baby's nap is over so I'm going to enjoy my baby time before she goes home.

More waiting

Apparently I ask too many questions. I've been chatting with this herbalist through email for a few weeks now, and I finally got a message last night saying that they feel at this time I'd be better served by phone and to please call toll free blah blah blah. Which I did, right away. She was gone for the day and the person that helped last night was not much help at all. So I called again this morning and left a message for the girl I've been talking to, to please call when she's able. No call back yet. I'm impatient. Very impatient at times.

I'm waiting till my friend has her baby before I schedule any appts. She's due on the 17th and I'm the one who will be keeping her daughter while she's in labor/in the hospital. A lot of good it will do me to schedule either appt and have to cancel, again.
And speaking of appts. I am going to make the one for the referral to also be a physical. I don't think I've had a total check-up since I got my drivers license permit physical back at 16. I haven't been to the family dr for anything other than a referral or sicknesses since that point. So, I think I should. I've also noticed recently that I've started to bruise very easily. Kind of scary with the size of these bruises, and I have no clue when or how it happened. It's kind of scary.

To rent or to buy...

We've been talking more and more about our plans for the spring. Either way at this point, we're moving in the spring. By April because that's when we worry about sign ups for Kindergarten.
I know what area we want to be, and the school district we hope for him to go to, but we're tossing around ideas now. Do we rent or do we buy? Rent is expensive. When you move, you have nothing to show for the time you were there. But at the same time, we're picky. And we know our limits. There is a house that was originally our main thought with moving, but it's only one floor, no basement, no upstairs. It would be big enough for us now, but later not so much. And we would have to figure out the storage options with the things we currently have in the garage here. It doesn't make sense to buy unless we are 100% happy with our choice. We know what we want, and it's just not there right now. Come spring, maybe, but for now I think we're leaning more towards renting again.
Previous to coming home, we had a really great townhouse. It was 3 bedroom 1.5 bath, and a full basement which we had taken the time in creating into a really nice playroom/rec room. We had more than enough space for now, and for if we had more kids. We were super close to everything. If anything went wrong, someone else fixed it. I guess that's my biggest worry with buying right now. I know some of the big problems that can go wrong, and I'm afraid we will lose a lot of money and struggle. I do not want to struggle!
I just feel kind of stupid for paying that kind of money in rent when it might be a little cheaper to just buy.
Oh and the other thing pulling me to the townhouse rental again is that school is less than a block away. I could walk him to school! No bus drama! I'm terrified of the idea of him going on the buses but with here, there is no other option other than filling my car twice a week.
There's just been a lot on my mind with all this lately. I hate moving. I just want to feel settled somewhere again.

Boo

This year Kristopher decided he was going to be a ghost for halloween. It sounded like such a simple idea at first and I was excited. My grandma gave us a white sheet and I figured how hard can it be. Well....4 hrs later we have an ok costume. I wish I could have planned it better but it turned out ok! So here he is getting all painted up. This was so hard because he kept moving and I ended up with a lot on me too.

All finished! And impatient with the pictures.

First house was my grandma to show off our work.

So we ended up with soooo much candy by the time we were done. I don't have pictures of that though. He did really good this year. He said Trick or Treat each time, then said "Thank you and happy halloweeeeeen" in a little sing song voice.
And if we saw something "scary" he would still walk a little ahead and I kept hearing him saying "it's just pretend, just pretend." So brave this year! He was really into it which made it fun.

And tomorrow I have to post a picture of the bunny. We got a clearance cat costume at target today for $2. It's just a hat, but it fits the bunny. So hilarious. The things I do for entertainment.....